


Colors

by lovelyairi



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Adultery, Angst, Cheating, Daddy Kink, Lots of Secrets, M/M, Smut, age gap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2018-12-19 01:41:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 33,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11887239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyairi/pseuds/lovelyairi
Summary: Kyungsoo wanted to become a photographerHis main model was his boyfriend's fatherShh, no one knowsNot even the model himself





	1. Robbers [Prologue]

Kyungsoo liked to play with things he wasn't meant to have. And no matter how impossible it seemed, he always got exactly what he wanted. Whether it be material goods or people themselves.

After all, Do Kyungsoo, the loner who was always holding a camera and spent majority of his free time in a dark room managed to snag none other than the school's jewel, Kim Sehun.

Kim Sehun was the school's most talked name, he was the proud captain of the dance team and the main choreographer. Everyone wanted to be his friend and everyone wanted to date him.

Kyungsoo began his little game with subtle glances here and there, very aware of how his innocent looks swayed people. All it took was a few coincidental falls and shy smiles before Kim Sehun was down on one knee asking for his hand to the winter ball.

The thrill of winning only lasted so long. Sehun had asked him out the night of the dance and they shared their first kiss together under the chandelier, wallowing in the chants from the dance team and the disgust from Sehun's fangirls.

They had only been dating for a little over 2 weeks before Kyungsoo had begun looking for a new challenge. When he lay down on the grass in Sehun's arms he wondered about what else he could do, what else he could achieve.

Kyungsoo decided to stay with Sehun for some time, not eager to break it off so soon. Because to be honest, sex with a dancer was mind blowing and Kyungsoo wasn't ready to let go of his new found status just yet.

Plus, Sehun was genuinely a great guy. He was sweet and caring, but he was also playful and snarky. He didn't treat Kyungsoo like he was a girl and he knew to give his boyfriend space when he needed it.

But best of all, Sehun never pried into his photography.

Kyungsoo hadn't been too focused on finding a new challenge as of late because he was honestly having a great time with Sehun and he enjoyed his company. That was until he met Kim Jongin.

 

Kim Jongin and Soojung were Sehun's adoptive parents, having been unable to conceive themselves. They were both in their mid thirties and they adopted Sehun when he was 4 years old.

Kyungsoo had been quite surprised when he learned about this for the first time. He had been invited over to Sehun's place to do some homework and maybe stay over for dinner when he was told.

Sehun had told him mainly because he didn't want Kyungsoo to ask any questions about how young his parents were or why they didn't look alike. Kyungsoo smiled at him and squeezed his hand.

That was when a knock on the door caught Kyungsoo's attention and when it opened he was met with the most beautiful face he'd ever seen. His jawline was definite and his eyes were deep.

His skin was tanned and his lips were plump, dark brown hair slicked up to perfection. He was dressed in casual wear and he didn't look a day over 24, Kyungsoo unconsciously looked down.

"Hey son, a friend?" Jongin speaks and Kyungsoo can't help but look up at him once more. His eyes water as he practically stares at the man, Kyungsoo can't deny his innate desires and he wants this man.

Jongin has that beauty that Kyungsoo would exclusively start a collection for. He wants to see this man's golden skin glow in all the possible angles and lighting, he wants to see this man flushed and writhing in pleasure.

Kyungsoo isn't sure when Sehun introduces him but when Jongin is smiling at him and reaching forward for a handshake. He uses his angelic smile and flutters his lashes at him.

"It's very nice to meet you Mr. Kim."

 

The first time Kyungsoo snaps a photo of Jongin is after he's done his shower. He had made sure Sehun was in the bathroom and that Soojung was nowhere in sight. He peeks through the sliver of the master bedroom and his throat runs dry.

Jongin is standing there in all his glory, a towel wrapped loosely around his waist as he types something on his phone. Kyungsoo watches the way the drops of water sit on top of Jongin's skin and he's mesmerized.

Kyungsoo lifts his camera close to his face and holds his breath before snapping the photo. Jongin seems to hear something because he perks up but Kyungsoo is already slipping into his boyfriend's room.

He looks at the photo he had just taken and he almost moans at how pristine it is, excitement brews within him and he can't wait to go home and develop it in his dark room.

Kyungsoo then decides that Kim Jongin will be his next challenge.

 

Robbers - The 1975


	2. Shadow

Kyungsoo breathes comfortably under the red lights as he carefully holds a pair of tweezers steadily, lowering the corner of the photo into the chemical solution first. He lets it submerge naturally and waits as the photo begins to take form.

The sound of his phone ringing sparks irritation but he smiles to keep his facade, Kyungsoo glances at the name on his screen briefly before putting it on speaker. He lowers the brightness on his phone before he answers,

"Hello Sehun-ah, what's up?" Kyungsoo asks as he carefully looks around his darkroom, making sure everything is in place. This room was his sanctuary and he often spent hours there.

"Kyungsoo hey, my parents want to invite you over for dinner. I was texting you but you didn't reply." Sehun said with what seemed like a pout and Kyungsoo laughed lightly.

He removes the developed photo of Jongin from the solution and hangs it up on a thin wire for it to dry. His eyes sparkle as he looks over those beautiful ridges in the man's back and he wonders how even without colour he can be so beautiful.

"Sorry, I was spending time in my darkroom earlier. Are you sure? I don't want to intrude." Kyungsoo lies as he removes another sheet of photo paper from a clean pile, placing it in the solution near the film.

"Kyungsoo, they're inviting you. Trust me, we all want you to come over. Plus, if you've been in your darkroom that means you haven't eaten yet right?" Kyungsoo can practically hear the smile in Sehun's voice and he feels his stomach rumbling.

"Well, you got me there. You really sure though?" Kyungsoo laughs before dipping back into his concerned tone, Sehun sighs and Kyungsoo grins a little. He's quite enjoying this conversation he thinks as he lifts the second photo to dry.

"Of course Kyungsoo, you're free to come over. How about...7? Need a ride?" Kyungsoo notices the clock reads 6:30 which gives him just enough time to get ready. He wonders why Sehun offers a ride when he knows that Kyungsoo owns a car.

"I can get there on my own, I'll see you soon baby." Kyungsoo adds in because he knows that Sehun is a sucker for pet names. He carefully stores his unfinished work and reaches for his polaroid camera.

"Okay, drive safe Soo. I love you." Sehun says and he hangs up, knowing that Kyungsoo won't return the words to him.

 

Kyungsoo knocks on the door of the Kim household with a playful smile on his lips and a polaroid camera hanging at his hips. He shivers slightly in the cool October air and just as he's about to snap a photo of the scenery behind him the door opens.

"Sorry just give me a moment." Kyungsoo mumbles as he reaches for his camera, he aims at the large tree in the front yard, making sure to capture the wet ground speckled with fallen leaves. The streetlamps are illuminating the sight, he snaps a photo and waits as it appears from the top.

Kyungsoo turns around after removing the photo from his camera and he waves it around as he waits for the photo to take form. He looks up and sees Jongin looking at him, with an unreadable expression.

"Good evening." Kyungsoo greets with a sweet smile and Jongin coughs awkwardly before stepping aside to let the teenager into their home. The teen places his photo in his small bag he had brought with him before entering.

"Good evening Kyungsoo, Sehun is upstairs getting ready I'll call him." Jongin closes the door behind them and Kyungsoo can hear the sounds of cooking, he bends down to remove his shoes and he doesn't miss the way Jongin tenses.

"S-sehun-ah, Kyungsoo's here!" Jongin stutters and Kyungsoo laughs internally at how cute the elder is. He practically waddles into the home, trying to feel warm again and his boyfriend appears at the top of the stairwell.

"Hey." Kyungsoo says with a little wave and Sehun is utterly speechless. Kyungsoo is dressed in a loose dress shirt which he's sure belongs to him as well as tight black jeans which hug his thighs and ass.

Sehun runs down the stairs almost unattractively and wraps his arms around his shorter boyfriend, muttering about how he was cute and hot at the same time before he presses a wet kiss onto his lips.

"Hey baby, you look good." Sehun says dreamily and Kyungsoo laughs at him before pulling away from the hug. Jongin stands there awkwardly, looking at the young couple.

"You know that shirt was my dad's, I stole it one time and I guess you took it when I didn't notice." Sehun chuckles and Kyungsoo looks down at the white shirt in alarm, no wonder Jongin had been so flustered. 

"I'm going to finish getting ready okay baby? Just give me a moment." Sehun pecks him on the forehead before running back upstairs and Kyungsoo smiles warmly. He presses the long sleeve to his face and flutters his lashes as he smiles at Jongin.

"Good evening Mrs. Kim, would you like some help?" Kyungsoo greets merrily as he skips past a frozen Jongin. Soojung looks up from the stew she was stirring and she grins at the teen.

"Kyungsoo dear welcome, yes of course I could use some help. Could you cut the kimchi and fry it off with the pork please?" Soojung asks as she points to various things whilst still keeping her eyes on the stew.

"Of course." Kyungsoo smiles and he proceeds to do as she asked, wielding the knife like a professional. Sehun chooses this time to reappear wearing classy but simple clothing and he sits beside his dad at the kitchen island.

"So Kyungsoo I see that you have a camera with you, Sehun says you're into photography." Soojung makes light conversation and Kyungsoo almost forgot about it, he instantly removes his camera and his bag before handing them to Sehun who brings them up to his room.

"Yes, photography has been my only hobby for a long time now." he answers politely, running through the prepared answers to the questions he knew she was going to ask him.

"Kyungsoo has his own darkroom and he's always spending time in there." Sehun says absentmindedly, settling down beside his father again. Kyungsoo notes how the two don't look like father and child, they seem more like brothers.

"Is that so? How did you manage to afford to keep a darkroom sustained?" Soojung seems startled and Sehun glares at her for her rude remark, she was sure that Sehun mentioned Kyungsoo lived alone.

"My parents left me alone some time ago, they're travelling the world expanding their business and they send home money each week to keep me alive." Kyungsoo chuckles at his own words and he ignores the pitiful looks he's gaining.

"I use majority of their money towards school supplies as well as film paper, since it's expensive. And as you said Mrs. Kim, running a darkroom costs quite a bit as well, so I sell my photos on the side to make extra money for my own interests." Kyungsoo states and Sehun's eyes widen.

"You sell your photos Kyungsoo? You never told me that." Sehun pouts and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes playfully, stirring the pork in with the kimchi before adding some soy sauce.

"I only just started doing so, and you know I like to keep myself anonymous." Jongin looks into the teen's eyes and he swallows hard, something about those eyes bother him.

 

After dinner Soojung and Sehun are both ushered to take their showers before the night falls and Kyungsoo stays in Sehun's room almost a little too quietly. Jongin sighs since he's practically left alone with his son's boyfriend and he goes to check on him.

"Hey Kyungsoo everything okay?" Jongin opens the door without knocking and his jaw drops when he sees a perfectly sculpted lower body perched on the fluffy sheets.

Kyungsoo looked over his shoulder at him and Jongin could see his camera in his hands as if he was fiddling with it. The teen's thighs and butt look even more delectable from his angle and the way his hair lays messily over his eyes makes Jongin's stomach flip.

Kyungsoo was indeed very beautiful, and he almost feels jealous of his son for snatching someone so gorgeous. The teen releases his bottom lip from between his teeth and he sits up lazily, the large dress shirt slipping down to reveal his shoulder.

"Mr. Kim?" Jongin inwardly shudders at that velvety voice and he's unable to say anything as he shuts the door. He curses at himself and rushes to his bedroom, relieved to hear Soojung singing in the shower.

Blood is rushing to his nether regions and he throws himself onto the bed. Jongin doesn't need to look down at himself to know that he's hard and he throws his head back, covering his mouth with one hand as the other slips past the waistband of his sweats towards his aching cock.

Jongin strokes himself to the image of a teenager, his mind flooded with guilt and disgust with a silver lining of lust and he fails to hear the shutter going off somewhere in the near distance.

 

Shadow - f(x)


	3. Lost Boy

Kyungsoo smiles to himself when he receives an email notice that money has been deposited into his bank account. It's been awhile since he received so much and he's almost proud of the photos he submitted.

He decides he won't be going to school today and that he'd like to treat himself with a quick trip to the mall. It was about 1pm anyway and when he slept through his alarm he confirmed that he wasn't going. 

The teen gets out of bed and puts on a decent outfit before grabbing his bag, he doesn't bother bringing his camera since he's planning on leaving then coming back. He rushes out of his house for no real reason and hops into his car.

Kyungsoo cracks his knuckles before he starts the car, ready for a 10 minute drive to the mall. Then he realizes something, the weather outside is absolutely beautiful. Kyungsoo gets out of his car and removes his key before stares at the sight before him.

The ground is covered by a subtle fog and the sky is grey, everything is absolutely tranquil and the world seems like it's asleep despite being close to noon. He locks the door to his car and decides that he'd rather walk.

Kyungsoo would've gone to grab his camera, but he'd rather wait for noon when the sun threatens to part the fog. He speeds up and grins at the possible scenery he could catch later on.

 

The trip to the mall was one of sweet music pouring into his ears, his mood oddly high as he makes his way through the automatic doors. The place is relatively empty since students aren't free from school just yet.

Kyungsoo doesn't hesitate as he walks through the area, arriving at his desired destination with a skip in his step. He puts his music up louder since the store was playing some kind of jazz that he wasn't fond of.

His eyes rake over the numerous things on display and everything reminds him how Christmas time he coming even though it was only November. He walks past all of the holiday stuff and arrives near the back of the store.

He excitedly arrives at the photography section and he's been meaning to buy some new photo paper, he wanted none other than the best for Jongin after all. The man deserved the finest sheets for his image.

The teen purses his lips and glances over the selections available, he doesn't bother looking at the prices since he already knows that photography was an expensive hobby.

Kyungsoo carefully lifts a package of premium glossy paper, there's 100 sheets and it's from Canon. More than enough for him, he can't wait to see how Jongin's sun kissed glows on the new photos.

He then turns around and rounds the shelf into the next aisle as he's always done, he then looks over the scrapbooks and photo albums. He isn't sure whether he wants to frame Jongin in a scrapbook or a simple album.

The teen sighs as he's met with a hard decision and he changes the song playing on his phone before he looks over his possibilities. He's about to reach forward and lift an album off the shelf when something taps his shoulder.

Alarmed, Kyungsoo jumps and he nearly drops everything he's holding. His eyes widen when he looks to his left and he sees Soojung staring at him with a shocked expression. He pulls out his earbuds,

"I'm sorry to startle you Kyungsoo, just... you were in your own little world and I wanted to greet you." she smiles softly as she elegantly juggles the stuff she's holding, which makes Kyungsoo inwardly question why she didn't just get a basket.

"A-ah hello Mrs. Kim, I tend to get a little distracted in this section." Kyungsoo offers a fake stutter and he blinks rapidly to calm himself down, he disconnects his earbuds from his phone to avoid draining the battery.

"I can see how passionate you are. But Kyungsoo, shouldn't you be in school?" Soojung asks as she glances at the clock, as though she's sure that the day hasn't ended just yet. There's another half an hour till the school day is over.

"I had a doctor's appointment and I wanted to stock up on some supplies before I left." Kyungsoo says quietly and he hopes that Soojung is aware of the doctor's office on the other side of the mall.

"Oh I see, is everything alright?" she asks and Kyungsoo tries not to crinkle his brows in disgust. What if something was wrong? Who was she to question him, there was no concern, it was simply curiosity and he hated that.

"It was a check up Mrs. Kim, I'm fine." Kyungsoo says and he glances back to the album he was looking at. It was one with metal sides rather than cardboard, the silver metal was lined with black roses and thorns. He found it very fitting for Jongin.

"That's a relief, I hope you don't mind me staying with you a little longer. I could use some company." Soojung smiles and Kyungsoo returns a small one almost automatically.

"Of course not, I see that you're done shopping? I still have some things to get if you don't mind." Kyungsoo says politely as he turns back to the album on the shelf, finally feeling the cold and heavy book in his hand. It's perfect.

"Feel free to continue Kyungsoo, you seemed very concetrated on what you were buying." Soojung leans over his shoulder to get a better look at what he was holding and Kyungsoo feels a spark of annoyance.

"It's a beautiful album, what do you plan on storing in it?" Soojung asks as she follows Kyungsoo who walks towards the scrapbooking tools, he was in need for new calligraphy pens.

"Photos... of... hmm I'm not sure yet."  _Photos of your husband of course_. Kyungsoo acts as though he's conflicted and Soojung smiles at him fondly, but at the same time Kyungsoo can see her wondering why her jock of a son decided to date him.

"It's interesting that you and Sehun have been dating for so long. He's a dancer you know, and you're a photographer. I guess opposites do attract." Soojung says and she almost regrets it but Kyungsoo's expression is stoic. They've only been dating for 9 months.

"His passion for dancing came from his father. I'm not sure if he told you, but Jongin was a professional dancer." Soojung continues and Kyungsoo learned something new. 

"He runs an academy near the school." Kyungsoo nods at this because that was something he was aware of. Sehun usually volunteered there after school and he knew that the school dance team rented a studio there for practice.

"I was wondering if you'd like to come along to the studio? I was going to stop by afterwards to bring Jongin something he forgot." Soojung's invitation doesn't surprise him but he thinks about it.

"If it's not too much of a bother, I'd love to come along." Kyungsoo pays for his things and he knows that Sehun and the dance team will be there after school. A smirk works it's way onto his lips and he's excited.

 

The moment they arrive at the studio Soojung immediately makes her way over to her husband, completely forgetting about Kyungsoo who could care less about her anyway.

He sees the dance team and he can see that they're goofing around. Kyungsoo doesn't make his presence known and he sits beside Baekhyun on the bench, sending a quick glance from Jongin to Sehun before he does so.

"Hey Baekhyun." Kyungsoo greets as he sits down, Baekhyun smiles at him and he looks at the dancers with awe. He and Baekhyun weren't exactly close, since Kyungsoo wasn't close with anybody but with their boyfriends on the dance team, there were many moments when they found themselves talking.

"Hey Sehun, your boyfriend's here. And he's sitting with mine." Chanyeol blurts out and Kyungsoo wonders if the need to label them both as merely boyfriends was necessary. Nonetheless Sehun looks over at them and he waves at Kyungsoo, who waves back.

"Okay guys, time to stop fooling around. We're working on the routine once more, and Chanyeol I expect you to stay focused or I'll have to ban Baekhyun from coming to practice." Jongin's voice is stern and his expression is strict, Kyungsoo finds it hot. 

Kyungsoo watches as the guys fall into their usual routines and he hasn't seen this arrangement yet, he's been skipping out on the studio practice but he does come to the school sessions.

Jongin watches them all quietly and he makes sure they're in sync, often stopping the music and muttering a quiet, "Again" before he let's them continue. Kyungsoo keeps his eyes on Sehun however.

Sehun is an amazing dancer, not quite as fluid as Lay is but he does shine in his own ways. He's captain mainly for his skills and leadership after all, plus he got them liberties of practicing in a legitimate studio.

"Chanyeol! It's left foot right foot!" Jongin scolds as he stops the music for the nth time and the guys collectively groan, glaring at the giant with curly hair. But Chanyeol denies it,

"But I did it right! Jongdae got it wrong!" Chanyeol whines as he points to the member in question, who indeed had frozen in a different position than the rest of them. Sehun then smirks at his dad,

"You called out the wrong person dad, you know what this means." Sehun begins and the rest of the members slowly start nodding and creeping towards the man. 

"We get a 15 minute break!" Chanyeol and Chen collectively scream before high fiving and the room bursts into laughter. Including Kyungsoo who can't seem to stop laughing at Jongin's shocked expression.

The laughter slowly dies down as the dancers all look towards the small male who's flashing a never before seen heart shaped smile and Kyungsoo notices this when he calms down.

"Whoa so Kyungsoo can laugh." Xiumin scoffs in disbelief and they all look to Sehun, who's staring at his boyfriend like he's the sun. Jongin is feeling odd inside and he can't get those perfect lips out of his head.

"I'm human so I'm capable of laughing thank you very much." Kyungsoo says with his usual small smile and he stands up, glancing at the clock. He stretches and sighs,

"I'll be heading home now, I don't have my camera with me so I don't want to stick around." Kyungsoo's blunt nature doesn't phase any of them and Sehun nods, jogging towards his boyfriend.

"Ah Kyungsoo dear, would you like me to drive you home? He came here with me after all." Soojung says to no one in particular and Kyungsoo purses his lips, ready to reject the offer.

"Or even Baekhyun can drop you off. Kris hyung has a car too." Lay offers and Kyungsoo tries not to show his building anger. Sehun shushes them and turns around to face his friends and family.

"Kyungsoo can make it home fine on his own." Sehun says to them and in just a sentence every one shuts up. That's another thing Kyungsoo likes about Sehun, he knows to give him space.

"Thanks baby." Kyungsoo grins up at him and Sehun leans down for a kiss, he wraps his arms around Kyungsoo's waist and pulls him in close. The two kiss slowly until the collective coughs and throat clearing pull them apart.

"Goodbye everyone." Kyungsoo waves goodbye and he doesn't bother looking at Jongin as he turns around and leaves.

 

Lost Boy - Troye Sivan


	4. Le Noir

Kyungsoo opens his eyes in the middle of the night and he sighs at how exhausted he feels. There's warm arms wrapped around his torso and he can feel a small breath tickling his cheek.

He sees Sehun's sleeping face centimetres away from his own and he finds the other so very foolish. Kyungsoo slowly sits up not afraid to wake up the heavy sleeper.

Kim Sehun is an absolute fool. He's honest and he's kind. He doesn't doubt and he chooses to believe and trust in others. Kyungsoo finds it utterly and helplessly foolish.

And he finds it foolish that he, a selfish and manipulative person, wants to apologize to the sleeping teeanger. Kyungsoo knows that he has no right to ruin Sehun's life like this.

Before his guilt can cloud his real thoughts Kyungsoo unravels the noodle-like arms from around him. He stands up and scratches his head, before grabbing Sehun's forgotten shirt from the floor. 

He doesn't always stay over at the Kim's, but Sehun had insisted that he stay over to help the latter with his psychology project. Kyungsoo had offered a tight lipped smile throughout the whole work period, trying not to melt at the pouty lips and quick touches.

As he makes his way into the hallway he realizes how loudly the silence is ringing in his ears and he needs air. He can feel his throat constricting and he runs towards the door, his sock clad feet slipping on the hard wood.

Kyungsoo throws the front door open and he gasps for the fresh air filling his lungs. However, he definitely did not expect to see Jongin standing beside him, with a cigarette between his fingers and his eyes wide in shock.

"Kyungsoo? Is everything alright?" Jongin asks and he's a little worried considering he'd never seen the teen so flustered before. Kyungsoo was always collected and he never wavered.

But when he looked into those large shaking eyes, he could see a scared teenager.

"A-ah yes, I umm I have trouble sleeping at night." Kyungsoo admits and he's not sure what part of what he said was a lie or not. Jongin nods and he lifts the cigarette to his lips, inhaling poison into his lungs before he exhales shakily.

"Soojung doesn't like when I smoke, she thinks I quit a long time ago." Jongin says suddenly and Kyungsoo knows it's because he shared something vulnerable, and so Jongin felt like he should exchange.

"Do you love her?" Kyungsoo whispers as he sits down on the porch stairs, his small body curled up against himself. Jongin looks down at the teenager in offense and Kyungsoo seems to sense this.

"I'm just wondering if love can come from an arranged marriage." Kyungsoo states in a dead tone as he looks up at the elder. Jongin drops the cigarette to the ground and he's completely shocked.

Because no one other than himself knows that.

"Goodnight Mr. Kim."

 

_Jongin could remember it as clear as any other day. The look of utter horror and disgust his parents had given him when he had told them he was gay. He had already been given numerous scholarships to renowned schools for his dancing and he thought it'd be good to tell them before he left._

_"I will not have a gay son." his father had raged, and Jongin wondered why he was so stereotypical despite the times changing. Being gay was nothing to be ashamed of, but then again here in South Korea things were more reserved._

_"I can't just change my mind father, I've been this way for a long time now. And I just want you to know. I don't expect you to accept it, but please, let me live freely." Jongin pleads and he's hopeless when he sees his mother's eyes avoiding his in shame._

_"You are our only son. I refuse for this to be true. We will be marrying you to the daughter of Jung Enterprise." his father shakes his head and Jongin's shoulders slump, his stomach flipping._

_Being the only children of large companies, Soojung and Jongin had been close since childhood. When their parents brought them to boring company parties, the two had fun together._

_Jongin wasn't blind and he was well aware of Soojung's feelings towards him. But he had made it clear in his actions that he only saw her as a mere friend, the thought of having to marry her made him sick._

_"This will not be arranged. Jongin you will date her and then propose, you are going to have children and become a perfect family." his father orders and Jongin doesn't respond, his eyes wide as he think of the future he's being forced into._

_"We have already honoured your wish of becoming a dancer. Don't ask for more." his mother warns him and Jongin wants to protest, stating that he wasn't going to fight back._

 

Jongin pulls out another cigarette in desperate need of warmth and he's gazing longingly at the place on the stairs that Kyungsoo had been sitting on a few moments ago. 

He clenches his fist and smirks as he slowly nods. Fine. If Kyungsoo knew one of his secrets, he was going to find out one of his.

 

Le Noir - B.A.P


	5. Heart Hope

The darkroom at the school was relatively different from his own back at home. For one, it was less spacious and the quality of products were not nearly as high, making it difficult to get the perfect photos.

Then again, the club president (who surprisingly enough was not Kyungsoo) didn't allow the male to spend the club budget on expensive materials. After all, the budget was low and Kyungsoo was the only one who actively participated in the club activities anyway.

If by participate they meant Kyungsoo using the club room and darkroom to his heart's content then yes, they were correct.

Kyungsoo's glassy eyes look over the photos sitting under the rippling solution and he tries not to sigh. He'd rather be developing photos of his latest model, instead of boring photos that he had taken of the dance team and the choir.

For the dance team he could rarely get a clear shot of anything exciting since Sehun always pushed the team to be speedy in their choreography. As for the choir, Kyungsoo could only get so many of the same stationary shots before he got bored.

But he was still part of the photography club and that meant taking photos for the journalist society which was a fancy name for the newspaper club. Kyungsoo tried to distract himself by getting excited over developing Jongin's photos in the privacy of his own darkroom.

Warm arms wrapped around his waist and Kyungsoo jumped in surprise having been too invested in his own thoughts. He sees his boyfriend peering over his shoulder and he smiles as rough lips peck his forehead.

"I tell you, you're way too focused sometimes." Sehun teases, but he knows not to go too far because he had respect for Kyungsoo's passion. Just like how Kyungsoo did for his passion for dancing.

"I'm trying to get these photos done before Junmyeon sunbae has my head." Kyungsoo laughs and he continues developing the photos, not finding Sehun's close position bothersome at all.

"What're you doing back from practice so early? I was supposed to head over at 4." Kyungsoo asks as he glances at the clock that only reads 3:20. Sehun pulls away and he leans on the counter, carefully as to not disrupt his boyfriend's work station.

"We finished up our routine for today. Chanyeol and Baekhyun wanted to go on a date, Kris and Lay have a bio exam tomorrow, Tao and Luhan didn't bother showing up and Chen and Xiumin are hanging out with Suho in the newspaper room. Something about making sure they look good enough." Sehun explains.

Kyungsoo blinks in response and he almost has trouble matching the stage names of the members to their faces. He didn't understand the whole concept but hey, who was he to judge.

"Oh I see, I'll be a moment longer. You can head home first if you're tired." Kyungsoo says as he lifts one of the photos from the solution, hanging it on the wire above before he does the same to the other photo.

"About that, I wanted to ask you something Soo." Sehun's tone is suddenly serious and an irritating feeling swirls in Kyungsoo's stomach. He looks over to his boyfriend with wide eyes and the other seems flustered to see him so afraid.

"Whoa Soo it's nothing big don't worry." he reassures and Kyungsoo nods, fiddling with the strips of film and more photo paper as he silently gestures for Sehun to proceed in asking his question.

"My parents were invited to a party event of some kind. Something held by my dad's former company and they want us to perform. But I don't want to be there alone all night so won't you accompany me? It's tomorrow." Sehun doesn't notice how Kyungsoo gets excited at the prospect of seeing his father dance.

"Do you ever discuss these things with your parents beforehand? I'd rather not be that annoying boyfriend that's always over." Kyungsoo smiles as he shakes his head and he's positive that he wants to go.

"Of course I do! My parents like you a lot I'll have you know." Sehun huffs and Kyungsoo wonders why. Soojung absolutely despises him and Jongin has no real reason to want him around. Interesting. 

"Hmm, I'll go on one condition." Kyungsoo says as he purses his lips as though he was thinking hard about something. Sehun gives him a knowing smile and he kisses his cheek,

"You get to bring your camera?" he guesses and when Kyungsoo grins at him he knows he's hit the jackpot. Kyungsoo turns around and wraps his arms around Sehun's neck before kissing him.

"How'd you know?" he asks cheekily and Sehun rolls his eyes. But he rests his hands on Kyungsoo's hips and boops his nose, eyes lost in how much he feels for his boyfriend.

"Of course I know. I love you." Sehun reminds him and it hurts when Kyungsoo's demeanor changes. He looks almost uncomfortable, and Sehun releases him. Pressing a kiss against his forehead.

"Don't apologize okay? You'll say it back to me when you're ready won't you?" Sehun gives him a tight lipped smile and he leaves the room because he knows Kyungsoo won't give him a proper response.

 

Kyungsoo arrives at the Kim's front door with his camera safe in his pouch and expensive clothing sitting on his skin. He rings the doorbell and to his relief, Sehun opens it.

"Good evening young man, how may I help you on this fine evening?" Sehun asks in a posh British accent but it only results in odd sounding Korean and the worst impression known to mankind.

"You're an idiot." Kyungsoo rolls his eyes playfully as he enters the home and he sees Soojung wearing a tight fitted black dress, she looks elegant that's for sure. 

But Kyungsoo didn't really care about her.

"Oh Kyungsoo, you look wonderful." Soojung compliments him but her smile doesn't reach her eyes. Kyungsoo smiles back in the same controlled manner and he bows,

"Thank you Mrs. Kim, you look beautiful." he counters and he inwardly scoffs at how pleased she looks. Jongin makes his way down the stairs and Kyungsoo slowly looks up at him.

"Good evening Mr. Kim." he greets and Jongin swallows hard. Kyungsoo looks over the man's outfit and he can easily see that Jongin tried to match with Soojung. His dress shirt wasn't fully tucked however and his tie was loose.

"Oh, I'll be doing a performance later with Sehun right when we arrive so I didn't want to go through the hassle of loosening up my clothing later." Jongin explains to Kyungsoo as though it was the most casual thing ever.

"Well let's get going Jongin, the party starts at 7." Soojung chirps and Kyungsoo notes that it's only 6:05, but who was he to argue with the lady of the house? He didn't know how far this place was anyway.

"I see you brought your camera Kyungsoo." Soojung says as they make their way to the car. Kyungsoo unconsciously holds onto his pouch and he smiles at her,

"As per usual Mrs. Kim. There's a number of things I wouldn't want to miss with my camera." he answers and Sehun opens the car door for him whilst Jongin lets Soojung get in on her own.

"You speak as though you already know what you're looking for." Soojung's statement sounds almost like an accusation and Kyungsoo is startled by this, but he doesn't let it show.

"Well that's what I'm hoping to discover Mrs. Kim. After all, the night has only begun has it not? Yet on my way here, I've already taken 4 photos." he says in a sweet voice and Sehun turns to him.

"Wow really? You always find something to photograph don't you." Sehun smiles at him and Kyungsoo meets Jongin's eyes in the rearview mirror, grinning when the elder averts his gaze.

"I do."

 

True to Jongin's word as soon as they arrived the father and son duo was pulled to the middle of the dancefloor. They seemed to be discussing something with whom Kyungsoo assumed to be Jongin's friend.

"Please be discreet with your camera Kyungsoo. Many of these people do not appreciate flash photography." Soojung warns him and Kyungsoo resists the urge to roll his eyes.

"I'll be careful Mrs. Kim. I don't photograph people though." he says and she nods curtly at him before leaving to go bitch with her friends. Kyungsoo let's out the breath he was holding and finds a nice spot on the wall.

He takes a moment to embrace the aesthetic of the room. It was a large banquet hall that had been made into a ball room, the walls were lined with vases and candles whilst the ceiling was decorated with chandeliers.

The tone of the room was a soft yellow and it reminded Kyungsoo of those old movies he never bothered watching. There was a band off to the side as well as a sound system by the stage.

There were numerous people in the room, all dressed to impress and Kyungsoo came to realize that he and Sehun were probably the youngest ones there. No wonder his boyfriend didn't want to attend alone.

"And now, a special performance from Kai and his son Sehun!" the party host announces and Kyungsoo learns that Jongin had a stage name, he'd have to google him later.

Kyungsoo quickly readied his camera as music began blaring from the speakers and he watched with sharp eyes as Jongin and Sehun popped on the first beat. They both moved rhythymically, somehow managing to dance together despite doing completely seperate choreography.

Kyungsoo took a moment to inhale the performance before he snapped a photo of Jongin, and he continued doing so until he felt content with the amount he had. Only then did he focus on the dance again.

He did look over to his boyfriend occasionally but the stage was easily Jongin's. Kyungsoo knew that Sehun could be that experienced as well if he continued at the pace he was going at.

But the thing that struck him the most was the happy expression on Jongin's face. He looked so... free. Kyungsoo couldn't help but question why the man stopped dancing.

The music ended and the two reached their final poses before the whole room erupted into applause. Kyungsoo smiled at them and he walked towards Sehun who practically jogged over to him.

"I thought you didn't like taking photos of dancing. Something about too many blurry shots?" Sehun teases and Kyungsoo knows that he had seen him sneaking a few shots during the performance.

"I made an exception this time." he answers and he presses a wad of tissues against Sehun's forehead, collecting the sweat that had accumulated there. Sehun smiles at him then he glances back towards his parents.

"Give me a moment Soo, I need to go greet people with my parents. And I know how much you hate that kind of thing so..." he pouts and Kyungsoo can see that he doesn't want to go.

"Don't worry, I'll be okay here. Go on, hurry up so you can come back to me baby." he says affectionately and Sehun seems grateful for this because he kisses his lips chastely.

"I'll be back. Feel free to eat those crackers you snuck in." Sehun winks before he heads towards his parents and Kyungsoo's eyes widen. He pulls out the small packet of crackers he kept in his pouch and he was amazed at how much Sehun knew about him.

Kyungsoo was the type that hated going to get food and he wasn't fond of eating in public either. Kyungsoo almost wishes that he could fall in love with the other teen.

But when he snaps a photo of Jongin he knows it's absolutely impossible.

 

They arrived home at around 10pm since Soojung had gone and gotten herself drunk although Kyungsoo was secretely very grateful to her because he was beginning to rot in that place.

As they walked through the front door Soojung stumbled her way upstairs and the 3 men simply watched her go. Jongin scratched his head and removed his tie and blazer.

"I guess we'd better make her some soup, in case she gets hungry tonight." Jongin says and Sehun agrees with him. Kyungsoo on the other hand just stares at his boyfriend.

"I'll lend you something comfortable for now Soo, we'll need your help cooking. You can drive home after okay?" Sehun nudges him and Kyungsoo nods, following his boyfriend to his room.

Sehun was quick to change and Kyungsoo simply watched him, clutching the clothing that Sehun had lent him with sweaty palms. His boyfriend turns to him when he's done and hugs him.

"Hurry and get dressed alright? Dad and I might end up destroying the kitchen." he chides playfully and Kyungsoo smiles at him before he nods.

 

"Where's Kyungsoo?" Jongin asks when he sees only his son padding down in his loose t-shirt, shorts and lack of socks. Sehun skips to his side before peering into the fridge.

"Soo doesn't like changing around others. He never told me why but it makes him uncomfortable." Sehun explains and Jongin blinks at his answer. Jongin grabs a pot and fills it with water.

For a moment things were silent between the two and Jongin finds it comfortable with his son. They didn't spend much time alone together, since either Soojung or the dance team was always there but he cherished these little moments.

Jongin's eyes widened at the sound of a shutter and he looked over to Sehun to see whether he had heard it as well. But Sehun remained oblivious and he took a deep breath, playing it off as Kyungsoo taking secret pictures of his boyfriend again.

Jongin had seen the way Kyungsoo had pointed the camera at his son all night. Taking photos whenever he could, it was a little creepy but sweet at the same time. Jongin was curious as to what Kyungsoo used those photos for.

"Sehun, why did you choose to date Kyungsoo despite how different you are?" Jongin asks and Sehun tenses as he pauses from cutting the tofu. He glances over to his father and he's relieved to see that Jongin is genuinely curious.

"I find him... very intriguing." Sehun answers. He doesn't seem pleased with his answer however, judging by the way he hums and tilts his head, trying to find a better word to describe his mysterious boyfriend.

"Kyungsoo likes to protect himself. He doesn't share anything with anyone else, and I find it very... I mean, I want to be let in you know? I want to know what's on his mind, and why he does the things he does." Sehun adds in.

"Everything he does is so calculated, even the way he breathes. Kyungsoo is just so damn mysterious." Sehun laughs at his terrible explanation and he's glad that Jongin doesn't laugh with him.

"He doesn't rely on me or anyone else and it's so strange. I worry about what those thoughts he bottles up does to him, and I want to be able to relieve him of his burdens even if it's by giving him his privacy." Sehun smiles longingly at the soup boiling on the stove and he sighs.

Jongin thinks back to the flustered expression he had seen on Kyungsoo's face those many nights ago. And he wishes he knew why the teen had shown such a face.

"I'm so in love with him."

 

Kyungsoo snuggles into his scarf as he enters the art gallery, his fingers numb from the November cold. He hadn't expected today to be so chilly and he forgot to wear a pair of gloves. It was Autumn after all, it wasn't supposed to be Winter yet.

He walks across the pristine white floors and rounds the numerous aisles to reach his own display. The photos changed monthly and he couldn't wait to see his recent submission.

He reaches his photo in a heartbeat and a smile arises on his face when he sees how perfect it looks. Kyungsoo eyes soak in every detail and he's almost impressed at his own work.

The photo was one that he had taken of Jongin that first night. It was a shot that included his silhouette, peering through the crease of the doorway whilst Jongin lay on his bed touching himself.

"Hidden Pleasure, what an extraordinary name. It's nice to see you Mr. Do, your payment will be transferred to your account in 2 weeks time." the coordinator says to him as he passes by.

Kyungsoo doesn't have a chance to say anything to him because the man disappears around the corner in the blink of an eye. He looks back at his monochrome photo one last time before he decides to head home.

His wrist is caught and he whips his head around almost too quickly. Kyungsoo's eyes widen when he sees Jongin standing behind him and for a moment his facade melts.

" _Kyungsoo likes to protect himself. He doesn't share anything with anyone else_..."

Jongin stares at the teenager in front of him and he sees nothing more than a confused boy. Sehun couldn't see him, but for some reason Jongin felt like he could. 

But was he brave enough to look at Kyungsoo for who he was?

"Mr. Ki-!" Kyungsoo's words are cut off when Jongin smashes their lips together, possessive arms wrapping around his waist pulling them flush together in a vice-like grip.

" _Kyungsoo is just so damn mysterious_."

Jongin slips his tongue into the teenager's mouth and he loves the way Kyungsoo whimpers at the hot feeling in his mouth. The smaller male keens against him as he's pleased at how Kyungsoo easily submits to him.

Jongin disagrees with Sehun, because he thinks that he can figure out Kyungsoo like no other. With his son's words on his mind and his wife's ring on his finger, he kisses Kyungsoo like there's no tomorrow.

 

Heart Hope - Oh Wonder


	6. Don't Hate Me

Kyungsoo grips the rough material of Jongin's jacket as they inhale one another in the midst of their passionate kiss. He pulls away when he runs out of breath and Jongin rests their foreheads together.

For a moment the two stand still under the veil of what is happening between them. Kyungsoo unconsciously looks around to see whether anyone had seen it, but the walls were high and the aisle was vacant.

"Mr. Kim..." Kyungsoo's voice is but a breath of air, not able to find his words just yet. Jongin eyes him seriously, his orbs dark and cloudy with something Kyungsoo was very familiar with.

"Jongin, call me Jongin." he gasps and he tries to pull Kyungsoo closer but the teen pulls away, his wide eyes staring deep into Jongin's. He purses his swollen lips and tilts his head,

"What do you want Jongin?" he asks and for a moment Jongin can't decipher his tone. The question is simple, but there is no simple way to answer. Not with who they were and what they were doing.

"You." the smile that spreads across Kyungsoo's lips is mischievous and very amused, it makes Jongin feel like he's the child rather than the adult. Kyungsoo intertwines their fingers and slowly leads Jongin through the tall aisles.

Jongin follows obediently and although a number of things are running through his mind, he chooses to ignore everything single one of them. It was so dangerous and so wrong.

But in order to get under Kyungsoo's skin, he'd have to break all the rules.

 

Kyungsoo brings Jongin to the emptiness that is his home, any other place would be too public after all. As soon as the doors are locked, a silence falls over them. 

"Kyungsoo." Jongin whispers as Kyungsoo pulls him further into the home. He barely has time to look at his surroundings before he's dragged up the stairs and into what he presumes is the teen's bedroom.

Judging by how long the hallway is, the home is luxurious. Possibly even more so than his own, to imagine Kyungsoo living here all by himself makes his heart ache.

Jongin stumbles into the room and he's easily pushed onto the bed, Kyungsoo climbs onto his lap in a matter of seconds and he's removing his coat and scarf before he does the same to Jongin.

"What do you want from me Jongin? Ask me nicely and maybe I'll give it to you." Kyungsoo asks him and Jongin freezes. When he'd gone to seek Kyungsoo out, he hadn't thought things would escalate so quickly.

Jongin couldn't see Kyungsoo's true intentions behind his playful gaze, there was a different persona here. And this wasn't the vulnerable teen Jongin had seen those nights ago.

"I want you." Jongin states confidently and Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow at his answer. He had been expecting something more dirty, more straightforward, his seduction might've taken a different turn.

"In what sense?" he dares himself to ask and the look in Jongin's eyes scares him. There's warmth and kindness, even if Sehun wasn't his biological son, they both held the same honest gaze.

"In every sense." Jongin answers before he presses their lips together. Kyungsoo wraps his arms around the elder's neck and tries to deepen the kiss but Jongin doesn't allow him to.

Jongin has full control over the speed of the kiss and he keeps it sweet, unlike Kyungsoo who wants it dirty and lust filled. Kyungsoo pulls away in frustration and Jongin looks at him in confusion.

"Let me treat you right." Jongin whispers as he presses a soft kiss to Kyungsoo's forehead, he pulls away from the action and he feels uncomfortable with the caring gaze laid upon him.

"I don't make love Jongin. I only fuck." Kyungsoo growls before he smashes their lips together. Jongin gasps at the impact and the teen instantly shoves his tongue inside his mouth.

Kyungsoo notes a change in Jongin's attitude, in the way that rough hands hold his ass greedily and he knows he's flipped the switch in the man. He grinds down and feels Jongin's hardening member in his jeans.

"Fuck Jongin." Kyungsoo moans like he was taught and Jongin gripped his flesh almost painfully. A high pitched moan erupted from his lips when Jongin rutted up against him and he grasped the elder's shirt.

"Oh my god." he mewled when they resorted to just grinding against one another, their jeans both painfully tight against their erections. But neither of them made a move to undress.

"I'm c-close Kyungsoo." Jongin whines as he buries his face into the crook of the teen's neck. Kyungsoo speeds up the pace and he rubs into Jongin in the most sinful ways.

"M-me too." he groans and throws his head back as he comes undone. Jongin can't help it and he leans forward, lightly biting Kyungsoo's pale skin, at that the teen shudders and whines as he comes.

Jongin follows suit, hips stuttering up into Kyungsoo's rear end as the two calm down from their highs. Kyungsoo stands up on shaky legs and he goes straight to his dresser, not wanting to look in the man's eyes.

"Kyungsoo... why didn't we-?"

"I won't be having sex with you until you're fully aware of what comes with it Jongin." Kyungsoo states as he tosses a clean pair of briefs to the elder, he can't help but let his eyes linger on how beautiful Jongin looks.

"Are you willing to risk your family for me?" Sehun immediately flashes in Kyungsoo's mind and he wills the thoughts away. He can't afford to feel guilty, not with what he wants to accomplish.

"What exactly is your relationship with Sehun?" Jongin asks and he watches the way Kyungsoo tenses up. He could see the difference in the way they looked at one another, Sehun was genuine whilst Kyungsoo was fabricated.

Kyungsoo feels his heart clench and he bites his lower lip before he leaves the room to take a shower, wanting to wash out the thoughts about Kim Jongin and his perfect little family.

 

Kyungsoo hadn't expected Jongin to stay. When he saw the elder curled up on his bed his heart felt warm, but he wasn't sure what exactly that meant for them. Jongin was dangerous, he made Kyungsoo feel things.

He picks up his camera from his desk and kneels down beside the bed, he's face to face with Jongin's sleeping face and he lets his fingertips flutter over his features. He really is handsome.

Jongin's expression is completely relaxed as he snores quite loudly, Kyungsoo doesn't mind too much. It makes Jongin feel more real, he knew there was many layers to this man.

And as much as he wanted to peel them back one by one, he couldn't afford to do so. They both had some kind of pull towards one another, but neither of them were able to voice it.

Kyungsoo leans in with his eyes closed and he kisses Jongin softly, he positions his camera and snaps a shot. He pulls away slowly and checks the photo before he walks towards his dark room.

He'd purposely made the photo unfocused so hopefully it came out as he wanted. Kyungsoo didn't usually photograph himself or others in general but for Jongin he'd always make an exception.

He makes sure to close the curtain behind him before he immerses into his zone. Kyungsoo works with a smile as he checks on the photos he'd left hanging a few days before and he takes them down.

Kyungsoo doesn't feel as though he should arrange the album he'd bought with the model hanging around so he resorts to putting them in a pile for now. He'd get to work when Jongin left.

"So this is your famous dark room." Kyungsoo turns around alarmed and he sees Jongin standing at the doorway, he lets the curtain fall behind him as he steps inside and he rubs his eyes.

"Is there anything you don't want me to see?" Jongin asks as he looks over the teen's expression. He looks shaken and worried, his wide eyes darting around helplessly.

"How much are you willing to see?" Kyungsoo asks instead and Jongin isn't sure what he means. He glances around the room ever so slightly and he can see how Kyungsoo inwardly panicks.

"Whatever I end up seeing." he says quietly. Their exchange sounds like a jumble of words but he knows Kyungsoo has a hidden meaning behind the certain questions he chooses to ask and answer.

Kyungsoo feels his heart speeding up and he unconsciously looks at the photos of Jongin dancing on his wall. He doesn't want Jongin to see him, he doesn't want Jongin out of all people to see how ugly he really is.

"You're not allowed to see anything. Leave." Kyungsoo points to the exit with a shaking hand and he avoids the look of concern in Jongin's eyes. Those beautiful eyes that were proving to be much more observant than he'd thought.

"Kyungsoo..." he hesitates and Kyungsoo glares at him dangerously. The teen clenches his fists by his side and he glues his gaze to the floor, his eyes closing as he begins to yell.

"Get the fuck out Jongin before I tell your son that you touched his boyfriend!" he hisses visciously and Jongin stumbles back in surprise. He lets out a sigh and leaves the room with another word.

Kyungsoo remains completely still for a moment and he's reminded why he likes to be alone. His mood was always on and off, and no one knew how to talk to him. This was why he liked to be alone. He couldn't be around others, not as himself.

The nauseous reality that Jongin may have actually left works it's way up to his stomach and Kyungsoo cautiously leaves the dark room. He sees his bedroom door wide open and he rushes downstairs.

"... yeah, I'll be out for tonight. Don't worry Soojung I'll be back tomorrow morning. I love you too, goodnight." Kyungsoo stands on the staircase with wide eyes when he hears the phone call end.

Jongin had said he loved Soojung, yet he was lying to her so he could stay with him.

"I'm sorry Kyungsoo, I know how important your dark room is. I shouldn't have pried." Jongin says with his eyes downcast and Kyungsoo isn't sure how to reply. Luckily his phone rings and he manages to escape from the apology for a little.

Jongin scratches his head as he stands in the living room and he can hear Kyungsoo padding back down the hall, he looks up at the teen standing on the staircase with his phone pressed against his cheek.

"... Sehun, you're outside?!"

 

Don't Hate Me - Akdong Musician (AKMU)


	7. Brave

"Jongin, go to the closet in the hallway. Sehun won't see you and there's enough room for you there." Kyungsoo mumbles frantically and Jongin gives him a knowing look, he nods and puts his hand on Kyungsoo's shoulder.

"We'll talk when Sehun's gone." Jongin says simply and when he walks past Kyungsoo feels a sense of relief in his chest. He takes a deep breath and waits for the closet door to close before he heads to the front.

Kyungsoo closes his eyes for a second and calms himself down, putting on the facade of the Do Kyungsoo that was dating Oh Sehun. He unlocks the door and notices Jongin's shoes, he quickly locks it before running upstairs and ripping open the closet.

Jongin stares at him in confusion until a pair of shoes come flying at him and Kyungsoo shuts the door again before he runs back downstairs. After what seemed like an eternity he finally opened the door for Sehun and he was pulled into a hug.

"S-sehun?" Kyungsoo stuttered, his body shivering as Sehun's cold exterior seeped through his thin clothing. The shorter stepped back until the two were safely inside before he kicked the door closed.

"What took you so long?" Sehun asked quietly as he pulled away, keeping one around tight around Kyungsoo's waist as another ran through his hair and squeezed his cheek lovingly. Kyungsoo smiled and gently pulled away,

"I was in my dark room." he replies, and he knows Sehun won't pry. He steps back and waits for Sehun to remove his shoes and coat, placing his shoes on the rack as he hangs up his coat and then he looks up at Kyungsoo.

"So what brings you here so late at night?" Kyungsoo asks aloud as he makes his way up to his bedroom with Sehun following close behind. He doesn't even glance at the closet door as he walks past.

"It's only 6 in the evening Soo." Sehun points out and Kyungsoo hums in response. They enter his bedroom and as soon as they do Kyungsoo feels Sehun grab his wrist, spinning him around till he's in his arms today.

"Well aren't you spontaneous this evening." Kyungsoo laughs quietly and Sehun looks at him in awe. Kyungsoo unconsciously looks away from the loving gaze but Sehun gently brings their eyes back together.

"You seem happy today, something good happen?" Sehun asks before he brings their lips together. Kyungsoo relaxes into the soft touch and he opens his eyes when Sehun pulls away.

"Let me hold you?" Sehun voice shakes as he wraps his arms around the shorter, holding him in a tight hug. Kyungsoo isn't sure what Sehun wants him to say so he decides to remain silent. 

Kyungsoo finally brings himself to hug back after a moment and Sehun pulls away in surprise. Kyungsoo's eyes widen in shock and he wonders if he did something wrong, instead Sehun smiles at him reassuringly.

"It's just, you usually don't hug back that tightly. You always seem like you don't want hugs." Sehun whispers and Kyungsoo's heart drops in his stomach, had he really been such a bad boyfriend? Or was it just Sehun who liked the excessive affection?

"I know you're wary... I'm not sure why but I'd really like it if you can rely on me Soo. We've been together for over 9 months now, you can open up to me. I'm not going anywhere, I've showed you that haven't I?" Sehun's eyes hold his heart and Kyungsoo finds it uncomfortable to look into them.

"I-I'm just going to grab something from the closet really quick." Kyungsoo carefully pulls away from Sehun's arms and he tries not to look at the hurt expression on his face. He gives the other a reassuring smile but Sehun keeps his eyes trained to the floor.

Kyungsoo leaves the room and he makes his way towards the closet, he just wants to make sure Jongin was okay in there. It was quite a cramped space that Kyungsoo could barely navigate himself, let alone a man so much taller than him.

As soon as he opens the door he feels warm hands holding his cheeks and he feels soft lips against his own. Kyungsoo feels his heart racing and he pushes into the kiss, loving the way Jongin's hands hold him.

He's breathless when he opens his eyes and he sees Jongin's charming smile, Kyungsoo's heart is pounding in his chest and he clears his throat awkwardly as he reaches for the darkroom lightbulb pack behind the man.

Kyungsoo is rewarded with another playful peck to his lips and he can't help but slam the door shut. He mentally apologizes to Jongin and although his chest is heavy with guilt, he can't help but think that this family is so easily fooled.

"Kyungsoo, can I stay the night? Some of my clothes are still here right?" Sehun asks as soon as he enters the room. He looks at the other and sees that he's gripping the duvet in his hand, eyes looking at anything but Kyungsoo.

"Why?" Kyungsoo can't help but ask, even if he didn't have Sehun's adoptive father in the closet right now he'd ask. Simply because it was odd behaviour from the other, Sehun was acting strange.

"My mom called me earlier saying that my dad is staying out again. I don't want to be alone with her." Sehun explains and Kyungsoo purses his lips. He can see where Sehun is coming from, but tonight he wants Jongin beside him.

"I don't think you should leave her home alone. No one should be, not when they're used to having people around." Kyungsoo reasons and he places the box of lightbulbs on his nightstand before he sits down beside Sehun.

"Sehun, what's upsetting you? You seem a little... off." Kyungsoo is as honest as always and Sehun doesn't react much to the question, a blank expression on his face as he stares at the ground.

"It's my dad." Sehun answers honestly and Kyungsoo wonders if Jongin can hear him from the closet. Probably not. But then again it was probably better that way.

"You said again, has he done this before?" Kyungsoo can't help but be curious. He's also surprised that Soojung would even let Jongin out of her sight, considering how high-maintenance she was.

"He does it occasionally. He'll stay out on weekends then come back Sunday mornings. Mom thinks he's cheating but we both know he's not the type to do so." Kyungsoo feels a spark of irritation and he smiles.

"Then trust him, I'm sure everything is okay." 

 

As soon as Sehun leaves Kyungsoo stalks up to the closet, he pulls the door open almost violently and Jongin squints at him, eyes being in the darkness for too long. Kyungsoo waits for Jongin to get out before he crosses his arms across his chest.

"So am I just another one of your boy toys then?" Kyungsoo asks as he walks towards his bedroom, Jongin blinks in confusion and follows the younger like a puppy. 

"Jongin, do you always sleep with boys when you stay away from home? Is this what you do?" Kyungsoo isn't furious really, he has no reason to be. But he wonders if there was more to Jongin than he expected.

"Tell me Jongin, how many others have there been?" Kyungsoo asks as he turns around, meeting the man's eyes with a glare. Jongin raises an eyebrow and Kyungsoo wants to hit himself for thinking about how attractive he looks.

"Kyungsoo, I'm not like anyone you've met before. I'm not like that." Jongin says instead and Kyungsoo notices how he didn't exactly answer the question. Does Jongin think he's insecure about this whole ordeal?

"Then why are you with me when you should be at home, in bed with your Wife?" Kyungsoo grits through his teeth, this would be so much simpler if Jongin didn't feel the need to cater to him. He wasn't a lost cause, he wasn't a scared child.

"Because I care about you!" Jongin retorts and Kyungsoo scoffs. 

"You know nothing about me Jongin, don't lie." _not even your son who's been dating me for almost a year knows nothing about me_ he wants to say, but he chooses not to.

"But I want to care, I want to know who you really are." Jongin reasons and Kyungsoo shudders, his arms wrapping around himself protectively. He makes the mistake of looking into Jongin's eyes and he feels trapped.

"Why?" he whispers and he knows he's faltering. Jongin affects him more than he'd like to admit and he knows everything could go down the drain if he gave in so easily.

"I want to know why a teenager like you is playing with my son's heart and breaking into mine." Kyungsoo scoffs at that and Jongin steps closer to him, he cautiously wraps around Kyungsoo's small frame and sighs.

"I'll have to leave in the morning so let me hold you for now." Kyungsoo holds Jongin back almost immediately and he feels safe in these strong arms. He hates how vulnerable Jongin makes him feel.

"Where do you go when you stay away from home?" Jongin's mind flashes to the lonely apartment he often escapes to and he presses a kiss to Kyungsoo's forehead, frowning when the teen flinches.

"I go to a place where I can breathe."

 

When Jongin arrives home the next morning he isn't even surprised to see Soojung standing in the kitchen waiting for him. She looks as though she was occupying herself with cooking but Jongin could tell she wasn't.

"Welcome home Jongin." she greets him with a sad smile and Jongin nods in her direction, he already feels suffocated under her gaze. He looks up at her and waits for her to speak.

"I'm trying Jongin, I really am. But if there's something in this relationship that you aren't happy with, we need to talk." Soojung whispers as she rubs the diamond on her ring, it was a habit she developed years ago.

"After that incident didn't I give you enough space? What more do you need Jongin? Why are you always so unhappy?" Soojung rambles on and on. Jongin winces at the mention of the incident.

It had been during the third time he left home for a period of time. Soojung had hired her friends to tail him around because she feared he was cheating on her, it was too extreme in his eyes and he didn't talk to her for a week, stating that they needed to have their own private lives as well.

"I'm just tired Soojung, I'm getting older and so is Sehun. He has a future to think about." Jongin feels wrong for using his son as an excuse, but it wasn't as though it was a complete lie either.

"Jongin, I've heard from some of my friends at work that maybe... an addition to the family could help strengthen our bond. We're both young and we haven't tried since Sehun was in middle school, how about it? A little baby in our home." Soojung smiles at him as she steps closer, placing her hand on his.

"Isn't it about time we really settled down? You could talk to father and get a job at the company. It's not like dancing is a choice for you anymore, not after the injury." Soojung is trying to be sympathetic he knows that but her words feel thick and disgusting in his mind.

"Sehun you're awake, come we're about to have breakfast." Soojung says as their son walks down the staircase. She squeezes Jongin's hand and gives hima  serious look.

"Think about it won't you?" she says to him softly and Jongin resists the urge to run his hand down his face. He looks over to Sehun who's staring at him like he wants to say something and he purses his lips.

"Hey dad, can I talk to you after breakfast?"

 

Brave - Amarante


	8. 10 Seconds

After breakfast the two males excuse themselves from the table, not bothering to say anything to Soojung who senses the atmosphere and she says nothing as she silently watches her family members walk off.

The steps taken towards Sehun's bedroom were quiet and Jongin wasn't sure whether the lump in his throat was from fear or guilt. Maybe it was both. Suddenly he becomes utterly aware of how his son is taller than him and he can't help but nervously glance around.

Sehun opens the door to his room and he walks inside first, striding over to the window before he opens it, letting fresh air in to wash out the scent of sleep. He then sits down on his bed comfortably and Jongin shuts the door behind him before he takes a seat on the chair at his son's desk.

The silence feels overwhelming to Jongin who takes a moment to look around his son's room. It'd been so long since he'd actually been in there, he feels apologetic for his lack of visits, they used to talk a lot. 

Jongin would always pop in and he'd sit down on Sehun's bed as the teen worked away at his desk, he liked to serve as a distraction since he knew Sehun never took breaks while studying. They'd talk about a lot of things, Jongin would share stories of dancing and how it felt being on stage.

A bitter smile works its way onto his lips and he knows he's to blame for the rift in their family. When Sehun was a child it was much easier to pretend that he loved his wife. He'd always put on a smile if it meant his son would grow up believing that his family was perfect.

Soojung had made sure that Sehun was aware of the fact that he was adopted, but that they were still going to be his parents and they were going to love him as much as any other mommy or daddy would. They'd given him a childhood or smiles and warmth, hiding the arguments and tears behind closed doors in the early hours of the night.

The toughest time was when Jongin had his incident on stage. He'd been a complete mess and Sehun was only 7 at the time. He wasn't able to hide his emotions of grief and regret. 

And that was the first time he left home.

At that time he had no place to run to other than his manager's house who had comforted him with a round of drinks and a sofa to crash on. He returned the next day and when he saw Sehun crying for him, begging that he'd live his dream of dancing if he didn't leave him again, he decided he wouldn't.

As Sehun grew however, Jongin began to think that his son was able to handle things even if he wasn't always there. Sehun was a smart child and of course he knew that his parents weren't exactly ideal but he never resented them for it.

Jongin glances at his son's personality strewn across the four walls and he realizes how much that Sehun's actually grown. He feels a wave of nostalgia when he sees his own dance trophies behind Sehun's and he hears the teen clear his throat.

"I know mom tried to throw the trophies away last summer but... they serve as an inspiration to me. So I kept them." Sehun answers a question that Jongin hadn't asked and his heart swells with a feeling he can't place.

"There was a story of a boy and girl who were deeply in love." Sehun begins and when Jongin looks at him he notices that the teen is laying on the bed, his eyes closed as he faces the ceiling.

"They'd been together for a long time, but for some reason the boy loved more than the girl did. And he felt as though he was the only one who really loved her. Her gaze always wavered when she saw art and he wondered if her love was found in someone else." Sehun opens his eyes and he stares straight at Jongin who's breath hitches.

"What should he do?" Sehun asks and his brows furrow as if he's wincing in pain. Jongin clenches his fists and he can't find the words to answer. Does Sehun know of Kyungsoo's affair? Of his affair? Kyungsoo may have been gifted at hiding his feelings but Jongin had never been.

Sehun sighs in frustration and Jongin feels helpless. But he knows he's being selfish. If he helps Sehun win Kyungsoo's heart then where would he be? Couldn't he be selfish for once? He'd spent his whole life pleasing others and it'd made him miserable.

"If you think too much you won't get anywhere Sehun. Sometimes you just have to watch how things occur and how they fall." Jongin whispers and Sehun looks at him. His heart aches and he wants to apologize, he was never meant to be a father.

 

Jongin pops his chest and he snaps his head to the side as he loses himself in the music. On late nights he often liked to stay back at the studio, when the staff had closed up and the students had gone home, Jongin remained.

He couldn't bear to be watched when he was doing his own personal dances. There was a part of him that could still perform but he realized that much of his dancing now was too personal and it expressed way too much.

He closes his eyes as he glides across the floor in his bare feet, his toes pointed as he spins and arches his back. Jongin opens his eyes and he reaches towards the mirror, eyes glossy before he pulls back and jumps.

As he lands however, a sharp pain runs up his leg and he grits his teeth. His dance reducing to shambles as he falls to the ground, clutching his ankle like the broken man he is. 

Jongin breathes heavily and he can feel his sweat dripping from his skin, landing on the floor around him, He wipes his hairline furiously and he lets his body lay on the studio floor. His clothing sticks to him like a second skin and he pants heavily as he feels the heavy beats of the music still playing around him.

 

_Your dream is to dance? Why dream of something so useless when you have a legacy waiting for you?_

_... you won't be taking over father's company? What's wrong with you Jongin? Go beg for his forgiveness!_

_Dancing will bring you nowhere. The arts are for those who chase for success, you already have it._

_See? Now that you've lost your dancing how will you live now? One injury and you lose everything._

 

He slams his fist against the floor and he sits up in a foul mood. Jongin goes over to the stereo and he unplugs his phone before he stalks over to the private showers that were meant for instructors.

His eyes skim over the time seeing as how it's 7pm and he knows Soojung will be calling him at any moment, her sickenly sweet tone reminding him that dinner would be served promptly at 7:30.

Jongin removes his clothing in a hurry and he hangs up his stuff in his locker, he felt so exhausted... He shakes his head and he carries his towel and bag of toiletries with him into his usual shower stall. There were only three stalls in there since all of the instructors had different class times.

He pulls open the curtain and hangs his towel on the hook outside of the stall before he steps in, he carefully lines his shampoo, conditioner and body wash on the little rack before he shuts the curtain and turns on the shower.

Jongin doesn't flinch as the cold water hits his heated skin and he simply waits for the water to warm through before he tilts his head to the side, sighing as he runs his hands over his face, he doesn't even register the sound of the door opening followed by a lock.

His eyes droop as he tries to fight his drowsiness and he really wishes he could just hide here for a few days or so. Hiding from everything that chased him so relentlessly, his family, his future, his career, everything was so daunting.

A rush of cold air assaults him as the curtain is suddenly pulled open and before he can turn he feels a broad chest pressed against his back, Jongin shudders at the hot breath blowing into his ears and the curtain teasingly slides closed behind him.

"Shh Jongin, it's just me." Kyungsoo whispers and Jongin turns his head seeing bright eyes looking back at him, a mischievous smirk on beautifully reddened lips. Kyungsoo's hands roam as they wrap around his waist and he directs his head back under the shower.

"What are you doing here?" he had attempted to sound hostile but instead his voice sounds weak and scared, there were so many things that were wrong with this image. Not only were they both male, but Kyungsoo was 16 and he was none other than Jongin's son's boyfriend, Jongin whom was a married man. 

"I'm here to visit you of course. What're you thinking about Jongin?" Kyungsoo turns the man and Jongin keeps his eyes closed, a soft touch to his cheek coaxes them open and for some reason he sees concern in Kyungsoo's large eyes.

"Should we be doing this? I know that we shouldn't be but... you're so intoxicating. I shouldn't feel this way about you." Jongin shakes his head and he tries to step back but his back meets the shower wall. Kyungsoo advances on him and gently touches his forehead,

"Thoughts are troublesome aren't they? I'm here now and there's nothing more for you to think about." he says in a low tone and Jongin gasps when he feels Kyungsoo's naked body against his own, soft fingertips dancing along his tanned skin.

"Does this feel right? Then it is Jongin." the elder whimpers as plush lips meet his own and Kyungsoo doesn't hesitate to devour the man whole, his tongue eager as he kisses his boyfriend's father.

"Come, let us sin together. You and I." Jongin's head spins as Kyungsoo's voice melts like chocolate in his ears, he lets his hands rest on Kyungsoo's hips and he finally let's his eyes wander along the teen's beautiful body but fingers tilt his chin upward.

"The water will wash them away." Jongin crashes their lips together and Kyungsoo keens into the touch, his thighs purposely brushing the elder's member. Jongin lets his hands grasp Kyungsoo's ass and he holds the globes in his palms,

"You want to know who I am?" Kyungsoo's fingers grip Jongin's hair and he violently pulls the man's head back, he looks deep into Jongin's wavering eyes and he knows that this man will end him. 

"Then break me and find out."

 

10 Seconds - AOA 


	9. Medicine

The morning comes soundly to a restless Kyungsoo. His nightmares had been at bay for the night and he'd managed to sleep like a child in the arms of his boyfriend's father. He can feel Jongin's soft breath tickling his nape, heavy arms holding him closely.

If it was Sehun, Kyungsoo would simply pull away and get on with his day. He'd make the other breakfast and wait for him to sleepily come downstairs to kiss him good morning. But this wasn't Sehun.

This was Jongin.

And Kyungsoo quite liked being in the man's arms. With his eyes closed and his lips pouty, Jongin looks not a day over 20, time had aged him gracefully and despite being in his mid 30's he was still handsome and charming.

Kyungsoo turns in a cautious manner, not wanting to wake the man in his bed. His lashes flutter as they look up at Jongin's sleeping face, he feels something heavy in his chest when he sees that the man's brows are furrowed.

He gently reaches up and rubs at the folded skin, could he not find peace even in his dreams? Kyungsoo smiles when Jongin's features relax and the elder pulls him closer, letting out a breath as he settles once more.

The teen closes his eyes and he pretends that he's still sleeping, at least then he wouldn't have to think of all the things that were wrong with this picture. When his eyes are closed, he doesn't have to see that it's Jongin who has a ring on his finger.

 

Moments later an unfamiliar alarm tone comes blaring through the room and Kyungsoo registers Jongin's frantic movements as he sits up, whilst still being cautious of Kyungsoo who's laying on his chest, and he turns it off. 

Slender fingers thread through Kyungsoo's hair and a sigh of relief leaves Jongin as though he was afraid to wake the teen. Kyungsoo furrows his brows and relaxes again to continue playing into his act and he feels Jongin's fingers lightly touching the skin on his neck.

A nimble thumb rubs at his cheek and Kyungsoo's heart melts at the tender actions, so gentle, so soft, so caring. He hasn't been treated with such delicacy before and it's making him so confused.

"Kyungsoo, wake up." Jongin's voice is hoarse from hours of no use and he clears his throat of the underlying phlegm while Kyungsoo begins to stir, he opens his crusted eyes and yawns.

"Sorry to wake you but I need to go home now. I'll let myself out so you can just go back to sleep alright?" Jongin's voice is like that of an adult speaking to a child, kind and patient.

"Sleep well Kyungsoo." soft lips are pressed against his messy locks as he hums in response and Jongin's eyes linger on his face before he leaves the bed. Kyungsoo's fingers involuntarily grasp at the sheets that retain his heat and he pulls them closer.

Kyungsoo eyes open from the moment Jongin gently closes the bedroom door behind him, he sits up with a sigh and he holds the duvet close to his chest, Jongin's warmth was beginning to fade and he wished it'd last a little longer.

But Jongin was a man with a wife and a son, a man with a family. Kyungsoo had never played with a married man before, he'd seduced a married woman once before but she'd chosen her husband in the end.

He runs his hands through his knotted hair and wonders what he's trying to do. The thrill was dull and with Jongin it was much different, this man wasn't keen on keeping Kyungsoo as a dirty little secret. 

There was no real outcome to what they were doing, but whilst in the moment they couldn't think straight. Kyungsoo had experienced it numerous times, sharp responses remained dormant on his tongue when he met Jongin's honest gaze.

Kyungsoo reaches for the camera sitting on his bedside table and he fiddles with it in his hands before searching through his gallery. His tired eyes rest on the photos he'd taken throughout the night.

Jongin's face had been of it's own beauty within the night, thin streams of moonlight illuminated his tanned skin through the closed curtains and Kyungsoo had been completely mesmerized.

For a few minutes he simply watched the man, call him creepy and he'd probably agree. But Kyungsoo saw nothing more than Jongin, a tired man who worked hard to please those around while awake, those honest eyes held suppressed emotions and much more that Kyungsoo had told himself it was not in his place to understand.

Jongin was a plaything, he was entertainment, a challenge. He did not belong to Kyungsoo, he belonged to Soojung... he knew that Jongin was his own person but his thoughts twisted reality in a way that protected his heart. His selfish heart.

Kyungsoo gets out of bed when his eyes meet the photo he'd taken of him kissing Jongin's cheek in the shadows and he places his camera where it was before. He stands up slowly and wipes his eyes with his palms.

As he looks around the room it was as though he'd been alone the night before. Not a single trace of Jongin was left behind, not a shirt, not a sock, not even a strand of hair. Kyungsoo shook his head and willed himself not to think so much.

His morning routine goes sloppily with a quick shower and absolutely no care for his hair but then again it was Saturday so he didn't think much of it. Sehun wasn't one for spontaneous plans so Kyungsoo didn't have to worry about impressing anyone today.

Once he's finished he returns his room with curled toes, the floorboards are cold but he doesn't put on a pair of socks. Kyungsoo carries his camera to the darkroom and he accepts the fact that he'll probably spend his whole day there.

Kyungsoo's home was large, with 5 bedrooms and 4 washrooms. He'd had a bathroom in his own room but he'd replaced it with a darkroom instead, when he was home he often kept to his bedroom, the darkroom and the kitchen.

It reminded him how empty it was otherwise.

Once again disregarding his nagging emotions, Kyungsoo enters the darkroom with a gentle tug of the curtain. He enters and is enveloped in a soft red glow, his eyes dart around the room to make sure everything is in place before he makes his way towards the developing station.

He begins to wonder how he'll continue his collection of photos when Jongin is so aware of him, it was no longer a private game and more like a mission now. Kyungsoo did not want to give up his guilty pleasure and he didn't want Jongin to know about it either.

Considering how much of himself Jongin's already seen, he hopes he can hide away and leave only the beautiful mirage that everyone else sees, confident, flirty, and charming, possibly even the shy smiles that had gotten Sehun to fall for him. 

Kyungsoo's phone ringing breaks him from his thoughts and he takes his time finishing the developement of Jongin's sleeping face before he exits the darkroom. He wipes his clammy hands on his sweatpants and reaches for his phone that was under his pillow. 

The phone goes silent and Kyungsoo sees a missed call from Sehun, he doesn't wait long till the phone is ringing again and this time he picks up instantly, the phone hits the piercing on his right ear with a clink.

"Hello Sehun?" he settles himself on the bed and he places the pillow Jongin had rested his head on between his thighs, huddling it close to his stomach. Sehun called him quite often so he wasn't exactly surprised.

" _Good morning Kyungsoo, I didn't wake you did I_?" Sehun's voice sounds tired on the other line and Kyungsoo almost felt as though he had waken the other teen instead.

"No, I woke up awhile ago, What's up?" Kyungsoo glances at the time and it's almost 11am, Jongin had left over 2 hours ago. Terrible how he only had Sehun's father on his mind when he was talking to him.

" _My dad came back earlier than he usually does. Most of the time he stays out the whole weekend_." Sehun says nonchalantly, like he's speaking to himself and Kyungsoo just happened to be listening.

"Is that so?" Kyungsoo replies as he falls back on his bed, legs kicking away the pillow that had been wedged between his thighs. For a few solid breaths, it's quiet between them. 

" _You know... my mom isn't a bad person. She might be a little rough around the edges but aren't we all? I know how hard my dad works to please her but there's only so much he can handle... he's beginning to crack under the pressure_." Kyungsoo swallows and he suddenly feels nauseous.

"Why are you telling me this Sehun? It's personal is it not?" Kyungsoo squeaks, his eyes wide in panic and his breath quickening in his chest. He slipped, he attempted to avoid the topic.

" _You're my boyfriend Kyungsoo, it's only natural I'd tell you these things. I love you_." melodic laughter sounds from the other line and Kyungsoo tenses up, he takes a deep breath and smiles.

"Of course, sorry Sehun I wasn't sure what to say. I don't spend much time with my parents." Kyungsoo whispers apologetically and he prays that once again Sehun will ignore the fact that he didn't say the three words back.

" _I understand Kyungsoo, I was just hoping for a listening ear so no worries. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Are you free today? My mom's at a friends till late afternoon and my dad's at work. We could hang out_?" he fucked up. He hurt Sehun again and not only that, he let his emotions show.

"I'm sorry Sehun, I wanted to spend some time alone today. I haven't had much time lately." Kyungsoo reaches for the pillow he'd kicked away earlier and he gets a faint whiff of Jongin's scent.

" _I'll see you Monday then Soo, I love you_." 

"Bye Sehun." you hurt him again.

 

_"You want to know who I am?"_

_"Then break me and find out."_

 

Lips meet lips almost aggresively and Kyungsoo tastes sweet temptation in the form of Kim Jongin. Desire and lust clouds his better judgement, the raw desire for this man in front of him trumps all thoughts in his head, even those regarding Sehun.

Kyungsoo shudders as soon as a hot tongue meets his own and Jongin hands roughly massage his ass, exposing his hole to the cold air. There is nothing but pure carnal desire between them, it was not the time for sweet love making.

"Look how hard you are for me, you want me to fuck you Kyungsoo?" Jongin growls and Kyungsoo licks his lips at the dominant persona, he grinds his hard cock against Jongin's heated member and smirks.

"Are you willing to cross this line with me? A 17 year old? A boy? _Your son's boyfriend_?" Kyungsoo purrs and Jongin pratically shoves him against the wall, he gasps at the cold tiles prickling at his chest as he helplessly leaves himself to Jongin's demise.

"No marks?" Jongin whispers against the nape of Kyungsoo's neck, the teen can tell how much Jongin wants to mark his pale skin. But it was a risk neither were willing to take.

"No marks." Kyungsoo confirms and Jongin spreads his reddened cheeks, the skin irritated from all the groping, in order to reveal his little pink hole that clenched on nothing as the shower water cascaded down his back.

"When was the last time Sehun fucked you Kyungsoo?" Jongin asks in a dark tone and Kyungsoo is slightly taken aback by the sudden question. the teen stiffles back a whimper when Jongin runs his heavy cock down his ass crack.

"It's been about a week." he mumbles and Jongin rubs at the puckered entrance with his thumb as he slowly gets onto his knees, Kyungsoo can tell the man is trying to savour their time while also in some kind of rush.

"Looks like baby Sehun hasn't been treating you good. Does he eat this pretty ass? Make you come untouched? Or do you fuck him? I'd let you fuck me till I'm crying baby, but not today." Jongin licks a stripe up Kyungsoo's cheeks, letting his tongue tease the puckered entrance.

Kyungsoo is unbelievably turned on at this point, everything was so hot, even if the water coming from the shower head was beginning to run cool. The fact that Jongin was open to being top or bottom was arousing to no end.

Jongin prods his finger at Kyungsoo's entrance, for just a millisecond he seems to hesitate, but when Kyungsoo looks back at him he pushes in the finger without waiting any longer.

"Fuck." Kyungsoo gasps as Jongin licks at his entrance, it seems like a way of apology for being too rough, he soothes the spasming muscle with his tongue, gently sucking as his finger wriggles in soft heat.

"I don't have much time left baby, we'll have to make this quick. But I promise you'll be feeling it for days to come." Jongin drapes himself over Kyungsoo's back and he slips in another finger, not much preparation was needed, as long as he let Kyungsoo adjust, they'd avoid the risk of ripping his orifice.

"Fuck me hard Jongin, and maybe I'll come to you again." Kyungsoo says with a spark of mischief and Jongin can't help it, he bites down on Kyungsoo's shoulder hard enough to draw blood.

"Jongin no mar-!" Kyungsoo sputters and his fingers slip on the wet tiles as he tries to find some of grip when Jongin enters him, he isn't fully hard yet but Kyungsoo can feel the other pumping his member as he slowly inches his way inside.

Jongin mouths at the wound he'd created and he tastes copper on his tongue, he grasps Kyungsoo's chin and forces him to turn his head as he licks his way into his mouth. Kyungsoo moans as Jongin's member hardens and swells inside of him, coming to full hardness when he bottoms out.

They remain still for a few moments, Kyungsoo's legs shake as he adjusts to Jongin's size which is notably thicker than Sehun's but not as long. All the while, Jongin presses kisses along his neck and he turns the water towards the hot end, squeezing as much hot water as he can.

"You can move Jongin, start slow." Kyungsoo's voice sounds wrecked as he forces out the syllables and Jongin buries his face in the teen's neck as he begins to pull out and shallowly thrust back in.

Kyungsoo lolls his head back onto Jongin's shoulder and he grunts as the thrusts pick up in a steady pace, Jongin notes how the teen hasn't touched his member once and he looks down at the average length member, hard and purple.

"Think you can make me come untouched? Daddy?" Kyungsoo licks Jongin's cheek and he playfully flutters his lashes. A particularly hard thrust is what rewards him and his knees hit the wall.

"Fuck daddy, make me scream. Fuck me hard." the teen whimpers as Jongin pounds into him, he desperately grasps the wall and he can tell that Jongin is trying to find his prostate.

The obscene sound of skin upon skin is all that's heard, along with the steady stream of the shower head washing away any traces of their lust. Jongin grips Kyungsoo's hips tightly, mentally cursing when he sees the teens ass bounce upon impact.

"Fuck yes, more daddy!" Kyungsoo throws his head back and he hits Jongin in the nose by accident, however they both ignore the pain and even though he can feel warm blood running down his mouth he continues to hit that same spot.

Jongin turns off the water and he spins Kyungsoo around, he lifts the teen's leg so his thigh rests on his hip and he shoves his cock back inside the warmth of Kyungsoo's body. 

It takes him a few seconds to find his prostate again but when he does Kyungsoo is livid, stars flashing in his vision as he looks deep into Jongin's eyes. Kyungsoo gently wipes the blood from his face and he pulls him into a hungry kiss.

They kiss with their eyes open, appraising one another, taking in every expression and every feature. Jongin's eyes then crinkle and he begins laughing against Kyungsoo's lips, and the teen can't help but laugh as well.

"Come for me baby, come for daddy." Jongin pecks his lips chastely and Kyungsoo flushes pinker than he already was, Jongin's hips aim to please and Kyungsoo bites his lower lip as he comes, painting their chests in his release.

"Come daddy." Kyungsoo smiles a charming heart shaped smile and he clenches around Jongin's member which causes the man to stutter his hips and he comes with a groan that's muffled when he kisses the teen.

"Let's get cleaned up." Jongin's practically breathless as he turns back on the water, they're hit with freezing cold water and Kyungsoo yelps in surprise. Once again the two burst into laughter and Jongin's heart sings at the sight of Kyungsoo giggling till his stomach hurts.

After getting washed off, the two are relatively quiet. Reality begins sinking in once more and Jongin scoffs when he sees that Kyungsoo is prepared with his own towel and a clean set of clothes.

Jongin checks his phone and he sees 2 missed calls, he can see that it's already 7:37pm and that Soojung is wondering where he is. He locks his phone and tosses it in his bag.

"I'll drive you home Kyungsoo."

 

Medicine - The 1975


	10. Silver & Gold

Despite the hesitance he'd felt from the elder since earlier on, Kyungsoo did not refuse the ride home. It was already dark as the weather grew colder and the sun set earlier. The cool autumn air chilled their freshly washed hair and Jongin lead them to his lone car in the empty parking lot.

Kyungsoo opened the door and let himself in comfortably, tossing his bag in the back seat after he'd strapped himself in safely. Jongin sat in the driver's seat after he placed his bag in the trunk and he moved to turn on the heat but Kyungsoo gently touched his hand.

"Let's keep the windows down." he whispered and Jongin seemed to debate with that idea but he remained silent, the teen's eyes widened when the elder intertwined their fingers naturally.

"You'll catch a cold you know. It's almost December." Jongin says with a sigh but Kyungsoo simply snuggles into his scarf as though he's trying to prove a point. He doesn't bother arguing and keeps his own window up but let's Kyungsoo open his as they begin driving down the road.

Once again silence overcomes them but it's comfortable. There's no need to exchange words between them even though so little is known about the other. Kyungsoo isn't curious however, he wishes for things to fall freely.

This was all a game, nothing was forever. There was no way a real romance would work, not when Jongin already had a beautiful family, not when Kyungsoo was already in a stable relationship.

They found solace in one another in ways that they couldn't understand. Jongin was jeopardizing his marriage over a 17 year old boy who was currently dating his son. He was the only one on the line, it wouldn't mean anything to Kyungsoo if they got caught.

"You're thinking too much again." Kyungsoo's voice is quiet as it breaks through the wind, Jongin had almost missed what he'd said completely if he it had not been for the teen plaguing his mind in the first place.

"All I can think about is you, and when I do there's just so much more than I can handle." Jongin speaks vaguely but Kyungsoo knows exactly what he means. It was like that for both of them.

With Kyungsoo came a teenager who was dating Sehun. A lost boy who took pictures in his pass time and whom lived in a large mansion all on his own whilst his parents owned more than he could dream of.

With Jongin came a hard working man who's been married for over 10 years now. A man who's dream was broken but he continues to chase after it. A gay man trapped in a marriage he did not want in the first place.

"Open your window Jongin. Feel the night and all that it has to offer." Kyungsoo smiles as he closes his eyes and tilts his head towards the icy wind. Jongin opens his window as well but he keeps his eyes on the road for their own safety.

Most of the time Jongin had no idea what was on Kyungsoo's mind, he was a closed book and not a single part of him was showing. There were those few moments that he'd managed to catch the teen without his mask, only to see it put on in the next second.

Kyungsoo kept his eyes closed as he breathed in the fresh scent of rain in the air, mixed with the broken leaves and dirt. They did not live in a rural area but the roads were long and earthy.

He only opens his eyes when the car comes to a stop and when he looks into the dark he sees the lonely gates of his home. Kyungsoo removes his seat belt and he looks at Jongin who's staring at him intently.

"What is it Jongin?" he asks with a whisper. The elder however doesn't say a word but when Kyungsoo reaches back for his bag he holds the teen's arm in a gentle grip before pulling him closer.

Their lips meet ungracefully as Kyungsoo loses his balance and awkwardly leans on Jongin who's still bound by his seat belt. They kiss slowly and sensually, eyes closed but feelings heavy.

"Don't go." Jongin breathes between each mesh of lips and Kyungsoo hates that his heart yearns for this man, the desire is so strong. He wishes to be in his arms till morning but that can't happen. They both know it.

"You have to go home Jongin." Kyungsoo reasons even if the poison of Jongin's kisses are clouding his head, if they want to continue whatever this was, they needed to be smart about it.

"I'm so addicted to you Kyungsoo." his eyes widen when he sees the sincerity in Jongin's gaze, it makes him feel so vulnerable as though he's stripped naked. Jongin presses a soft kiss on his forehead and gives him a charming smile.

"Goodnight Kyungsoo." Jongin sighs before he lets go and Kyungsoo falls back into his seat with bated breath, the teen grabs his bag from the back and he seems hesitant to scramble to his front door.

Instead he gently cups the elder's cheek and kisses his lips softly once more, a light touch of encouragement almost, before he shows a shy heart shaped grin and scurries out the of the car.

"Goodnight Jongin." Kyungsoo says before he slams the door shut and calmly makes his way to his house. Jongin waits for the teen to safely get inside before he licks his lips and drives home.

 

"Jongin? Where were you?" Soojung asks as soon as he comes through the door, Jongin glances at the clock and sees that it's currently 8pm, he feels sorry towards her.

"I'm sorry, I went to a dukbokki stand with a colleague." he says and Soojung approaches him with a tired smile, she brushes her thumb along his bottom lip and shakes her head.

"You ate too much again didn't you? You know you can't handle spice Jongin, your lips are all red." she teases and Jongin's stomach turns uncomfortably as she pulls away.

"At least respond to my calls next time won't you? I was worried. Also, dinner is always served at 7:30, if you can't make it just call home and tell me." she smiles and Jongin nods numbly.

"My phone died, where's Sehun?" Jongin shrugs his large bag onto his shoulder and he sees that Soojung was clearing the table, meaning they'd probably already eaten which he didn't mind, even though he was starving.

"He's been trying to call Kyungsoo since he finished eating, looks like he finally picked up." Soojung answers him nonchalantly and Jongin knows he has no right to be jealous over the teen's relationship.

Before Jongin can say anything else, Soojung turns him around and kisses him on the lips suddenly. He responds automatically like a machine and winds his arms around her small waist, her lips were much softer than Kyungsoo's were but not nearly as plush.

"You don't taste like dukbokki." Jongin tries not to tense in her arms and he remains still, raising an eyebrow with a smile on his lips. Soojung seems surprised at the gentle expression.

"What do I taste like then?" he asks and he swears he hadn't tasted anything distinct on Kyungsoo's tongue, he hadn't smoked in quite awhile either so she shouldn't have any suspicions.

"I don't know, go wash up for bed Jongin. Sehun will be on the phone with Kyungsoo all night." she waves him off with a flutter of her lashes and Jongin wonders how she's so beautiful.

She deserved a man who worshipped her the way she was meant to be, unlike him whom kissed another behind closed doors and loved another in his car seat. Jongin knocks on Sehun's door before he passes by to his own room, popping the door open a moment later.

"Hey son, just wanted to say goodnight." Jongin smiles with a wave and Sehun repeats the words in silent words. He quickly glances around the room seeing how it's only lit with his desk lamp before he leaves quietly.

Jongin went to his bedroom and dropped his bag by the closet before he began to remove his jacket and scarf. He hung up his things in the closet, pushing them to the side since his wife took up majority of the space.

With a heavy feeling in his chest he went to wash his face and brush his teeth, he tries not to look at his reflection and he can see the small speckles of grey hair peeking through his dark brown locks. It reminded him of how old he was now, and how youthful his son was.

Jongin quickly dresses in sweat pants and a tank top before he hops under the covers, he hopes that Soojung won't ask for affection tonight, he doesn't know if he'll be able to get it up after his escapade with Kyungsoo an hour before.

 

"I'd like to welcome the newest member of the Photography club! Luhan sunbae!" Junmyeon announces with exaggerated arms movements and a bright smile on his face. Kyungsoo and the other members are all sitting around the table in the room, 

"Weren't you on the dance team?" Kyungsoo asks with narrowed eyes, and it's clear as day to the other members in the club that he did not like him. Luhan only smiles and points to his bandaged ankle,

"Dance season is beginning officially soon, I sprained my ankle at practice yesterday so Sehun suggested I join the Photography club, since you guys are mostly involved with the dance team. I won't be able to train in time for the first competition." he explained.

"Which will be very helpful since we're also the yearbook committee and I know you have no interest in the school yearbook Kyungsoo." Junmyeon says nonchalantly and Kyungsoo only forces a smile.

"It'll be great working with you sunbae. The other members are always with the dance team anyways." he said as he shot a glare at Chen and Baekhyun who were sitting across from him. Half the time you'd think they were part of the dance team since they were always there.

"Great then, Kyungsoo you can show him the ropes in the darkroom!" his eyes widen and he frowns at the very idea. The darkroom was in no way his but he was the only one who used it, the others stuck to digital images. Of course Kyungsoo kept all of his personal photos in his house but he preferred being in there alone.

"Why? He's mainly going to be doing yearbook work right? That's all digital." Kyungsoo asked, even Baekhyun and Chen didn't even know how the darkroom worked so would Luhan need to?

"That's a good point but we want all of our members to be well informed Kyungsoo." Junmyeon says with a nod of his head and he resists the urge to roll his eyes. Kyungsoo nods and looks at Luhan who's smiling at him.

"I expect you all to stick around for the lesson too then?" he says and the others instantly scurry to grab the club's exclusive cameras before they head out the classroom door. 

"Okay sunbae, follow me then." Kyungsoo says quietly as he stands and he turns to the small room in the already tight room, he lifts the curtain and goes in first letting Luhan follow behind.

"You can call me hyung Kyungsoo, you don't have to be so tense around me." Luhan laughs lightly and Kyungsoo absolutely detests it. He has nothing against Luhan, well not until a few minutes ago, he's never really liked friendly people.

"So that's the light, it's important not to tamper with it since the photographic paper is expensive and Junmyeon sunbae has other uses for the club funds." he begins and Luhan seems sad that he ignored his hyung card.

"This is the enlarger, which we don't use much and it's a little temperamental since the bulb needs to be changed." Kyungsoo explains and Luhan nods along, walking towards the baths with curious eyes.

"This is where we place the paper which is kept in a storage container on this shelf under the table, light exposure ruins the whole paper so be careful with them. Usually enlarge the photos, develop them and immerse them in the chemicals so that they can come out as nicely as possible." he points at the running water and the still bath as he speaks.

"This is for black and white photos, since the darkroom method is a little traditional to photography. The chemicals can burn you if you're not careful and there's a faint smell of vinegar right? That's the bath." Luhan nods along and Kyungsoo is pleased he's actually paying attention.

"Well that's about it, I'm not sure what you want to do but I was going to follow the others to the dance practice room. Will you and your ankle be alright sunbae?" Kyungsoo asks as the other hobbles out of the darkroom with a little stumble.

"My crutches are by the door, I'll go down with you, am I going to get a camera?" Luhan gestures to the shelf of cameras and there's four left there, one of them doesn't work and the other is his own.

"Yeah for sure, but do you want it today?" Luhan reaches for his crutches and whispers thanks when Kyungsoo hands them to him, only now does he notice that Luhan is taller than him and he doesn't like it very much.

"I don't think I'll be taking any photos today." he answers honestly and Kyungsoo nods before he picks up his bag from the desk and he removes his personal camera from it, winding the device around his neck.

The way down to the dance practice room was quiet, it wasn't too far from the Photography room since everything was in the arts building and thankfully they got to use the elevator.

Once they enter the long hallway lined with vending machines they notice the dance team members leaving the room one by one. Sehun and Tao are walking towards them whilst in a conversation and Kyungsoo smiles when they make eye contact.

"Hey, are you guys heading to the studio?" Kyungsoo asks when he sees the members disperse, Tao joins a conversation with Luhan leaving the couple to their privacy, stepping to the side slightly.

"Hey Soo, didn't know you were stopping by." Sehun smiles down at him and links their fingers, Kyungsoo feels his cheeks warming and he swings their hands playfully.

"I usually do, don't I? Practice end early today?" he inquires as he looks around, Sehun gives him a nod and gestures to the books peeking out of his bag. Kyungsoo purses his lips and looks up at him,

"We're all heading over to Kris hyung's to study for the midterms. Exams are in the beginning of the February so I don't know why they bother." Sehun rolls his eyes and Kyungsoo nods.

"I see, have fun then." he says and Sehun wraps his arms around Kyungsoo's small frame, enveloping him in a tight hug. The shorter of the two hugs back since he knows how much Sehun likes it when he does.

"After midterms, I'm going to love you hard. So wait for me." Sehun bites on his ear lobe and Kyungsoo laughs as he presses a kiss to the other's jaw, teasing him with nibble of his lips.

"I can't wait. Study hard, I can't really help you since our subjects are so different." Kyungsoo grins and Sehun kisses him on the forehead before letting go and the moment he turns the corner his smile fades.

 

Kyungsoo sits in his car with a bouquet of flowers in the passenger seat. Not a single song is playing and even though it's negative 5 degrees outside he has the window open.

His nose feels stuffy as the cold wind hits him and the scarf around his neck and the beanie on his head are serving their purpose at least. He feels tired, he has been the whole day and now that he was alone he was allowed to feel the weight of thoughts.

He slows down once he reaches iron gates and he turns into the parking lot which has a small amount of cars which is understandable considering it's a Tuesday afternoon. Kyungsoo gets out of the car and he opens the door to the passenger seat, carefully taking the bouquet before he closes the door and locks his car.

The ground beneath his feet is hard and relentless as he walks over the crushed leaves and uneven earth. He tries not to hold his breath as he passes by rows and rows of stones. 

Some are decorated with flowers that withered long ago while others lay bare, forgotten. The thought makes him shiver, beng forgotten once laid in the ground... it seemed lonely.

Kyungsoo approached the twin stones placed an inch apart, the actual coffins below were slightly askew but he'd insisted that the stones be as closed as possible, his parents would have wanted that.

With a smile on his chapped lips he places the bouquet between the two incense pots that had cold ashes filling them to the brim. Kyungsoo reached for the small package of incense and lights it with the box of matches, closing his eyes as he prayed.

Once each stick was placed in each pot, Kyungsoo sat down on the ground with his knees up against his chest, he leaned on his arms and stared at the engraved names with a sigh.

"I miss you." he whispers quietly and he can't help but cry. He always does when he visits his parents. The Do family that had perished when murderous robbers had grown hungry for their money.

Kyungsoo had been at cram school while his parents and his older brother were killed. He'd returned home and saw nothing more than bodies being lifelessly carried by the paramedics. His parents will had stated that he would inherit all of their belongings and savings, but he would not inherit the company.

The Do Corporation was closed soon after and Kyungsoo was left with a home, two cars and money. Authorities had stated that he should live with relatives since he was only 13 when the accident occured but he'd refused, distraught over the fact that they wanted to take his home away from him.

He was raised by his aunt who dropped by every week to keep him fed and to make sure he attended his therapy sessions. Kyungsoo didn't ever talk about it however, the doctors had deemed him cured but he knew otherwise.

When others asked where his parents were, he'd simply answer that they were on a business trip, building a new company in another place as lowly workers who's names wouldn't be remembered. 

Kyungsoo inhales shakily and watches his white breath fade and when he hears footsteps to his left he sees familiar brown eyes. Rather than seeing Sehun's first, he meets Jongin's eyes instead.

The family is dressed formally and there are bouquets in Soojung's arms, Jongin is looking at him with concern and confusion while Sehun is looking at him with utter worry.

"Kyungsoo?" Sehun asks with a shaky voice, Kyungsoo is aware of how he looks to them at the moment, even Soojung is looking at him with pity. A small teenager cradled up in the cold as he cries in front of two gravestones, it was clear as day.

But Kyungsoo could only think about how Sehun lied to him.

 

Silver & Gold - WILD


	11. Dearly Beloved

When Kyungsoo first laid eyes on Sehun he knew that he wanted him. Sehun had been walking down the halls with his friends, the rowdy members of the dance team gained the attention of everyone around them without effort.

Within the laughter and loud jests, Kyungsoo had seen Sehun. A man who was tall and quiet, almost stoic in his expression but he had an undenying glee in his eyes just by being with his friends. Kyungsoo wanted it all. He wanted to see that warm gaze on him and only him.

He was selfish he knew that but that was precisely why he played games to begin with.

And so Kyungsoo dedicated his time at school to wooing the most eligible bachelor. He didn't have to do much. Shy smiles when their eyes met "accidentally", hushed greetings when they ran into one another, and his decision to take part in the yearbook.

Of course being in the photography club meant he was technically forced to partake in it anyways, but that didn't mean he had to leave the clubroom to do field work. However he did. He joined the members who went around to different clubs in order to capture photos and he purposely went to the dance team.

Kyungsoo stayed back at school one day, knowing that Sehun would be practicing late. As he was sitting near the flowerbed, hunched over to take a photo a small voice calling his name surprised him. With a turn of his head, Sehun was standing behind him.

The way Sehun walked over to sit beside him was something Kyungsoo would never forget, he exuded such confidence but he was very respectful at the same time. He gestured first to see if he was allowed to sit and then he asked whether it would bother the photographer if he sat there or not.

To which Kyungsoo replied no, it didn't bother him. 

Kyungsoo thought that he could read Sehun like a book. Hence why he chose him in the first place. Sehun had been a challenge in the fact of his quiet demeanor and "popular" status but he'd still managed to get him somehow.

But now as Kyungsoo was sitting on the cold ground in front of his parents' graves he couldn't help but wonder where he had gone wrong. Sehun had always been obedient, understanding, truthful so why was he standing here instead of studying with the other's like he said he would?

A visit to a grave was never an impulsive last minute decision, especially when both parents worked all day. Even he had planned this visit for days before he was actually able to drive out. Kyungsoo sniffled and wiped his tears before he stood, by now everyone had read the names on the tombstones.

"Kyungsoo," he lifts his head at the sight of his boyfriend walking towards him with his arms open. Kyungsoo lifelessly allows himself to be held but he doesn't hug back, his arms heavy by his sides. He keeps his head down as Sehun pulls away, warm hands on his shoulders.

Sehun takes a single glance at the graves and Kyungsoo unconsciously flinches away, stepping back for his own privacy. The taller of the two sighs and he rubs his cold hands together,

"I didn't tell you about this grave visit to my grandmother because I know how you get whenever death is mentioned... now I know why," Sehun explains and he whispers the last part but Kyungsoo hears it all the same.

Suddenly he feels like he's just been doused in cold water. Of course. Sehun was concerned about him, it was always like that. It wasn't as though Sehun had deliberately lied to him. He clenched his fists and wiped his eyes free of tears, he was too emotional to think straight.

"I'm sorry I kept it from you, I just," his words trail off in the cold air and he shrinks back into himself. He's vulnerable, and he doesn't like it. Kyungsoo backs away whilst holding himself and he shakes his head. He glances down at the twin stones and tears blur his vision,

"Shh Soo, don't apologize," Sehun holds him tenderly, and Kyungsoo allows himself to be taken care of for once, even if it's not by the person he wants it to be.

 

Jongin and Soojung stand off near the dirt trail as they try not to look too closely at the teenage couple having a private moment. Jongin feels his fingers itch and he wishes he could be the one comforting Kyungsoo right now,

"So he's an orphan... I should've treated him better," Soojung sighs and she watches her white breath fade into nothing. Jongin irks at that, but he knows that it was a normal reaction. He could tell that was what Kyungsoo wanted to avoid most. Pity.

It was easy to tell from the way he carried himself, the way he hid things and tried to be a much stronger version of himself. Jongin could still remember how empty the Do's large house had been when he stayed there. Knowing that Kyungsoo used to share that space with his parents made his heart ache.

"We would've never known. He's just so... independent," Soojung continues on and Jongin almost wants to agree because yes Do Kyungsoo was independent. But he was also needy and lonely in ways that no one but he knew. At least he hoped so.

"Mom, Dad," they both give their attention to their son who's approaching them with a sad look on his face. Jongin holds his breath and he tries not to look over at Kyungsoo who was now standing alone in the cold.

"Those are Kyungsoo's parents... can I stay with him tonight?" Sehun asks them in a way that seems like he won't be taking no for an answer. Jongin wonders if he's thinking too much but he could've sworn Sehun gave him some kind of suggestive look.

"Sehun it's a school night and the wake for your grandmother is tonight," Soojung states softly in an attempt to stop him. Jongin could tell that she wouldn't mind if he spent the time with Kyungsoo, meaning it was up to his word. 

"Are you sure Kyungsoo would want that? What if he wants to be alone?" Jongin asks instead. He doesn't need to explain himself, it was a viable reaction for anyone, to want to be alone when a secret of theirs was revealed. Sehun puts his hands in his pockets,

"He asked me to stay," Sehun answers simply. Jongin feels his words sink down into his stomach and he tries not to let it show, the feeling of envy he knows is seeping out of him. Soojung smiles at him,

"We'll make up an excuse for the elders, don't worry about it, make sure Kyungsoo drops you by for your uniform and bag," Soojung pats his shoulder and lets him walk off to his boyfriend. Jongin doesn't watch but he can see out of the corner of his eye how they kiss and hug.

He has to remind himself that Kyungsoo doesn't mean anything to him. That their odd arrangement had  no outcome anyways. So why did he feel so pissed off when the couple walked off hand in hand? 

 

That night as Jongin lays in bed with his eyes wide awake he only has Kyungsoo on his mind. He curses himself for getting so attached, the teen was clearly bad news. He was a married man with a son for god's sake. Jongin jolts when he feels a soft hand squeezing his bicep,

"Can't sleep Jongin?" Soojung's voice is soothing in his muddled head. He turns to look at her and he admires the way the dim lighting from the moonlight outside enhances her beauty. He wishes he could really love her.

"No," he whispers and his eyes fall shut when she gently runs her nimble fingers through his hair. Jongin sighs in comfort and he leans in closer, their lips centimetres apart as they breathe each other's air. When he opens his eyes he can see Soojung staring at him,

"Should we try?" she intertwines their fingers together and Jongin looks down at their wedding bands. He takes a deep breath and he hovers over her, leaning down to press a kiss against her soft lips, lips that rivaled a certain somebody's.

"I love you Jongin," Soojung says honestly as she holds his cheeks, forcing their eyes together. Jongin lets himself fall into her loving gaze, he slips his hands up her shirt and nibbles her collarbone softly. 

"I love you too," but the only person he has on his mind is Kyungsoo. 

 

Dearly Beloved - Kingdom Hearts II OST

 


	12. Body Talk

Autumn falls past in a blur and the orange leaves are covered in a light blanket of snow when mid December hits them. Winter is in full throttle and Kyungsoo spends his days indoors when he's not at school. He hadn't heard a single word from Jongin since his secret was exposed and whenever he goes over to the Kim's to hang out with his boyfriend there's an odd tension in the air.

Not only between him and Jongin but between him and Soojung as well. He hadn't liked being around her before and he definitely doesn't like it now, not when she pities him every time she looks at him. Thankfully, they didn't ask much about his inheritance and why he was able to have such an expensive hobby, they'd probably already searched on the internet about the tragedy that fell upon the Do household.

At the moment Kyungsoo was snuggled up against Sehun who was staying over yet another weekend. He rarely left Kyungsoo alone after learning the truth and Kyungsoo isn't sure whether he likes it or hates it. In one way he disliked being coddled and worried for but at the same time it was... nice. He'd been on his own for so long, using people for his own gains. 

Not that it was any different with Sehun.

Things seem to have gone back to how they used to be, Kyungsoo was simply dating Sehun without fucking his dad behind his back. For Kyungsoo the odd thing was that he had no other intentions. Being with Sehun had simply become just being with him, rather than using him for the power or the popularity, things had changed when he experienced what he did with Jongin.

He'd never had an "arrangement" with a broken man before. Everyone he'd aimed for was well put together, proud and arrogant in a way that he enjoyed breaking down, yet when it came to Jongin who was already being held together by thin strands of thread, Kyungsoo couldn't destroy him. Not when he was already using him to break apart Sehun after all.

It was all confusing and it was all a blur, Kyungsoo didn't know what he was doing anymore. After Sehun maybe he should stop. But one thought kept nagging at him in the back of his mind, was this sudden change brought on because of Sehun's loyalty? Or because of Jongin's passion?

"Kyungsoo," he flinches unconsciously at the sound of his name and he blinks slowly, regaining the sense of his surroundings. Just like earlier, soft music is playing whilst an hour long video of a fireplace was playing on the television. Kyungsoo had found the whole notion hilarious but Sehun had insisted on doing something "romantic" for once.

"You're thinking too much again," Sehun says quietly and Kyungsoo doesn't respond, instead he only leans closer to the other knowing that it would make Sehun happy. Of course his boyfriend delightfully wraps his arm around Kyungsoo's waist and holds him dear. Silence overcomes them once again and although it appears comforting, it's dense, and it chokes them both.

"My family is planning a trip overseas for the coming holidays," Kyungsoo already knows this, he'd been told earlier that year when they had started dating. Every year from Christmas to New Year's the Kim family would be in some other country to celebrate. A part of him is slightly relieved, maybe he'll finally have some time for himself again.

"As they always do," he replies in a nonchalant manner. Kyungsoo sighs and he closes his eyes, he should get more sleep. Sehun on the other hand doesn't say anything else but he seems to contemplate for a moment, debating on whether he should speak his mind or not. Kyungsoo was quite curious as to why the Kim's planned their trip so close to the actual holiday.

"Would you like to come with us?" Sehun asks the one question Kyungsoo had been praying he wouldn't dare and he immediately tenses up. A shift in the air is evident as Kyungsoo shifts uncomfortably in Sehun's embrace. He takes a deep breath and shakes his head,

"You go on a trip every year with your family, I wouldn't want to get in between that," hopefully Sehun would realize that with everything's that's already occurred, Kyungsoo wouldn't be very comfortable with the idea of joining in on the trip. However, a part of him was also sure that Sehun was only trying to help in his own way.

"But this year I have you. Besides, you think my parents wouldn't want to be all lovey dovey during the holiday season?" Sehun scoffs and his words strike a chord deep inside of Kyungsoo's chest. The thought of Soojung being intimate with Jongin made his skin crawl, even though he had absolutely no rights to be angry at the vision of a picture perfect couple.

"Just go on the trip, it's not like I haven't spent the holidays alone before," Kyungsoo smiles to reassure his boyfriend but it does the exact opposite. Sehun's expression slowly sinks into one of sympathy and Kyungsoo clenches his fists,

"I don't need your pity," he says through gritted teeth and Sehun's eyes widen. They'd had this conversation a number of times since Sehun had learned the truth, and although Kyungsoo was well aware of his boyfriend's intentions, he couldn't help but defend himself. It'd always been like that, him against the world.

"You already know it's not that," Sehun's tone is harshly chided and Kyungsoo kept his eyes low. He took a deep breath and tried not to argue. Now that Sehun knew more about him it was difficult to act like the perfect boyfriend he was supposed to be. Things were getting too deep, but Kyungsoo felt like he wasn't ready to let go just yet. But who was it he wasn't willing to let go of?

"... I'll consider it, where to?" He relents and Sehun seems visibly pleased with his cooperation. Kyungsoo casually moves away from Sehun because he was beginning to sweat and he looks at his boyfriend who's looking at him with something hiding behind his eyes, something Kyungsoo didn't want to acknowledge.

"Dad and mom have been talking about Japan, some kind of hot spring type talk," Sehun shrugs and Kyungsoo calculates costs in his head. With his photo money it'd be a possibility, he wasn't going to use any of his inheritance on anything other than the house or his future post secondary tuition for now. 

Kyungsoo thinks about going overseas with Sehun and his parents, with Jongin. Just the thought of him caused a number of thoughts and feelings to arise, he holds his breath and tries to will them all away. Kyungsoo runs his hands down his face with a sigh, he's so tired.

 

In the middle of the night Kyungsoo leaves Sehun behind in his bed. The other teen was sleeping so soundly he hadn't even shifted when Kyungsoo left and replaced his spot with a body pillow. It was currently the early hours of the morning, the prime time for any kind of life changing photos.

And so Kyungsoo slips out in a hoodie and sweats before he puts on his large parka and he places his camera around his neck. Navigating through the barren home in the dark came naturally, which allowed Kyungsoo to grab his keys as he vanished in a heartbeat. As soon as he steps outside his breath turns white and the smell of the early morning greets him.

With a yawn he waddles towards his car and in swift movements he enters and ignites the engine. Kyungsoo rubs his hands together as he waits for the heat to spread throughout the vehicle and he wonders where he'll go. Maybe he should return to the same hill he always liked to frequent for photos of the sunrise. It was like a tradition of his, to go to that same hill each season to take a photo.

He stretches before putting on his seatbelt and he reverses out of his driveway before heading down the familiar road. As usual the streets are quite empty this early, aside from the odd car here and there, Kyungsoo was all alone. The window was down and it chilled him to the bone but the fresh air brought him a certain peace he couldn't find anywhere else.

As Kyungsoo drives down towards Sehun's neighbourhood he can't help but think about Jongin all over again. Everything is black aside from the odd spots highlighted by street lights but Kyungsoo can see it. The sole red light in front of a very familiar home. 

No doubt it was Jongin. A reminder of Jongin's smoking habit returns to him and he wonders how he'd forgotten, thinking back to the flavoured kisses they shared, none of them had tasted of tobacco. So why was he smoking again now? Was it selfish of him to think that maybe Jongin was smoking because of him?

Kyungsoo laughs at his own childish and ridiculous thoughts. The only time he'd seen Jongin smoke was because he was escaping his wife's confinement, it was probably the same reason why he was out there again on such a cold morning. The teen holds his camera with one hand and he steers with the other, and for a few dangerous moments he takes a blurry picture.

His car rushes past the Kim residence and Kyungsoo keeps the memory deep inside of his head. He isn't able to check the photo now, but hopefully it captured the red light like he was hoping it would. Kyungsoo was also hoping that the darkness would keep from revealing a license plate or a home address, he wasn't able to alter it once it was printed. Although the team who usually managed to blow up his photos for exhibitions worked wonders half the time, he wouldn't want it edited in any way.

The beating of his heart as well as the rushing wind is all he hears as he comes closer and closer to the park with the hill. Kyungsoo turns into the small parking lot and he only sees one other car. Maybe it was the park ranger? He'd seen the man a few times during his morning photoshoots. He makes sure everything is properly in order before he locks his car and makes his way down the boarded walkway.

Kyungsoo crosses the open fields and he can hear the stream to his left. He continues down the path with quick steps since his legs weren't that long. The trees are all bare of their leaves, and through them he can see the sky that was no longer pitch black, now it's coloured by a purple hue mixed with touch of warm orange. He hurries along so that he won't miss his shot.

At the end of the park lies a sole bench as well as a fence that keeps civilians from falling off the edge down a cliff. It was a place that Kyungsoo seldom visited since there were usually heaps of people there, taking pictures of themselves or of loved ones with the sky as their backdrop. To Kyungsoo, this was a special place, one that he wasn't willing to share with anyone yet.

The old wooden bench moans under his weight as he settles down and his parka covers his bottom from the cold. Kyungsoo exhales slowly to watch the way his breath mingles with the air before he disappears. He wondered if Jongin did the same thing with his poison. The teen shivers slightly and he looks up at the brightening sky.

With nimble footsteps he approaches the fence and a small smile forms on his chapped lips when he sees the horizon. In the blink of an eye he snaps a photo before resting his camera against his belly. The trees down below are all dancing in their own ways as their shadows stretch behind them, Kyungsoo watches as the sun slowly begins to rise and although the brightness makes him squint, he still does his best to capture multiple pictures.

He can't help but grin as his body warms from the inside due to his happiness. It's been a while since he felt so free and without worry. Kyungsoo places the lens protector back over his camera before he leans onto the fence with his forearms, a breath escaping his lips as the sun chases all of the darkness away. As the scene begins to become familiar Kyungsoo returns to the bench so that he can check the photos he'd just taken.

The photos of the park and the sunrise are ones he doesn't observe for too long, it was something he'd taken multiple times and to be honest he'd need to compare them to the ones at home to see whether they were different from what he had taken last winter or not. When he reaches the photo he'd taken of Jongin, he pauses.

It was hard to even see why such a photo had even been taken. It was a blur of streetlights and road markings, but in the midst of all the black, there was a red light. Faint, but it was there. Kyungsoo would have to tell the team that unlike his usual grey monochromatic scheme, this photo needed to keep this pop of colour. He was definitely going to submitting this photo to the exhibition.

Kyungsoo lets his thumb lightly graze over the red light and he leans his head back, letting out of a puff of air into the sky. He kind of missed Jongin.

 

Body Talk - Red Velvet


	13. Hopeless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning there are some homophobic thoughts in this chapter  
> Read with care!

_"Soojung, be on your best behaviour tonight, we have many important clients to meet," Jung Junghwan regards his youngest daughter with a serious expression as he looks her down in the limousine. She is sitting beside her mother who was dressed in a black tight dress, a faux fur poncho and diamonds strewn across her neck and ears. Soojung on the other hand was dressed in a pale blue dress, her hair was done in perfect ringlets and she had a sparkly headband on her head._

_"It will be your first time attending a party without Sooyeon by your side, are you nervous?" Jung Sohyun asks her daughter who silently stares down at her bandaged ankle. Soojung usually didn't mind parties all too much because she would have her older sister with her, however, said sister had been casted to become a star at an entertainment company a city away. She too had been casted but her parents had said she was too young, for she was only 12 years old._

_Not only that but she'd been dedicated to a career in figure skating. She'd combined her art of ballet on the ice and the people were anticipating to see how her talent would bloom with age. During her last recital, she'd landed wrong after a successful triple axel, needless to say her ankle had been shattered and the ice hadn't cushioned the impact in the slightest. She was told that with rehabilitation she would be able to skate again, but she already knew, it was over._

_Soojung remains silent and pretty as she was taught, even though no one but her parents were looking at her, she desperately wanted to appear perfect. After all, it was no secret that the Jung's were immensely proud of their eldest child whilst their second was doomed to chase after a shadow now that her only chance of making her own name had been lost. She was miserable, and she knew this party would only result in tears tonight, since her parents were bound to leave her in order to consult with other company owners._

_"Soojung dear, we've arrived," Sohyun gently shakes her daughter from her daydreams. Soojung nods and she waits for the door to open, Tony their head butler greeted her with a smile and held her hand as she got out of the car. He then handed her her crutches while he held out a hand for the lady of the house, stepping aside as the head stepped out. Soojung was already overwhelmed at the grandeur of the building._

_Soojung stumbled behind her parents, who were already working hard to appear professional now that the cameras were present. She unconsciously reaches out for her mother's hand but remembers the lack of practicality and the last thing she wanted was to be scolded so she retracts it quietly. They enter the banquet hall and she's immediately met with the bright colours of gold and white._

_There seems to be music playing within one of the rooms and she follows her parents who have completely forgotten about her at this point. Once she enters what seemed to be a large ballroom she looks up at the chandelier with wonder. How quaint she thought, it was much larger than the one hanging above the dining room table at home. Soojung hobbles after her parents who have already greeted their first guest._

_"Good evening Mr. Lee, how are you?" Junghwan says and Soojung recognizes the couple, they were the parents of Lee Taemin, a friend she'd made a long time ago at a party not much different from this one. The elders fell into a small conversation and Soojung perked up when she heard Taemin's mother exclaiming as she gestured to her bandaged ankle,_

_"My, Soojung what happened?" Sohyun begins to explain how her daughter's injury occurred and Soojung knew that the woman already knew. After all, it had been all over the news when figure skating prodigy Jung Soojung daughter of the CEO of Jung Enterprise, fell during a recital and destroyed her career. She can feel the malicious intent from the woman, already well aware of how society ran round._

_"You must be tired dear, there are chairs over there where you can rest, Taemin should be around so he can keep you company if he spots you," Mr. Lee says and judging by the false tone and wide smile on his lips Soojung knew that he simply wanted her to leave so that they could talk business. Soojung recites her farewells and she carefully makes her way over to the chairs she'd been pointed to, the last thing she wanted was to bump into someone and ruin their clothes with expensive alcohol after all._

_She plops down on an unoccupied seat and looks out to the dance floor with resent. Within the few people who actually swallowed their pride to have a good time she could see two boys having the time of their lives. One of them she recognized easily as Taemin who always had a passion for dance like she once had, they'd met while dancing after all._

_The other boy, has her absolutely smitten. At first, she notices his skin tone. Such a golden tone was rare in the world of the rich where everyone was obsessed with being pale and looking like royalty. He has sleepy eyes and plump lips, when he laughs a dimple can be seen faintly in his cheek and he also resembles Taemin in an odd way._

_Her heart was pounding at the handsome nature of this other boy, but one thing that nagged her was that he had a passion for dance. Dance and the arts had taken everything from her, she only needed to grip her crutches to be reminded of that fact. Another thing that her young mind could not understand, was why did the boy look at Taemin like he made the sun shine?_

 

Soojung wakes with a startle and she can feel sweat lining her forehead, cooling on her body when she sat up to catch her breath. The spot beside her had already run cold and she was no fool, aware of Jongin's smoking habit since years ago. There had been a period when he smoked less, lately he'd been taking longer and longer when he left the bed, she wanted to know what stressed him out so much.

She unconsciously clutches her ankle and sighs, running her hands down her face. She was tired. Exhausted almost. Soojung looked over to the clock and saw that it was 4AM which was much too early. It'd been awhile since she dreamt of that party, the party that changed her life for the better or the worst, she'd no clue. All that she knew was when Sehun came home with Kyungsoo, introducing the teenager as his lover she had felt the same nausea she'd felt years ago.

Why would a man love another man when men and women were made for each other? The way their bodies fit and the way their features complimented each other was something that would never be found in a gay relationship. The moment Jongin accepted it, she had felt sick, suddenly aware of the thoughts she'd wanted to ignore since the moment they met. 

Soojung shakes her head and she gets out of bed, tying her long hair up in a messy bun before she grabs her phone from beneath her pillow and she steps out onto the balcony, sitting down on a beanbag as she makes a phone call to her friend Taemin. The phone call is quick and short considering it is freezing outside Taemin had been sleeping but she feels better when her thoughts are shared.

She stands up and enters the room once more, seeing that Jongin was now in bed with his eyes closed. As usual, he wasn't very good at getting rid of the smell and she climbed into bed as well. Soojung holds him naturally and her heart freezes when he flinches before relaxing. She moves even closer and within the dark she can see the marks on his skin that she had made only hours before.

Jongin belonged to her and she loved him so so much so why didn't he know? 

Why was he so far away?

 

Hopeless - Halsey


	14. Touch

Kyungsoo jolts from his slumber and he sits up frantically, looking around in panic until he remembers that he fell asleep in his living room whilst waiting for the hours to pass by. Today was the day he’d be going to Japan with Sehun’s family, and it was an evening flight so Kyungsoo found no need to head over to their house early. It’d be quite some time till he would manage to have much alone time after all.

Winter break had started a week ago and Kyungsoo had been spending most of his time outdoors, taking pictures of whatever he could. He’d told the director of the gallery that he wouldn’t be submitting any photos until after the new year since he’d be out of the country for two weeks. Truthfully, he hadn’t really been back to the gallery since Jongin had found him there, he’d only resorted to sending his photos in via mail and receiving the money online.

His secrets were slowly becoming exposed one by one and it was all because of Jongin. Kyungsoo didn’t appreciate it very much, never had he met someone so willing to get under his skin. He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. Thinking about this never lead to good things, thinking about Jongin never lead to good things. It only reminded him of Sehun’s loyalty. Kyungsoo shakes his head once more for good measure and he dismisses the thoughts entirely.

He stands and stretches, his body aching from an impromptu nap on the couch. Kyungsoo looks over to the suitcases by the front door, all ready to go. He’d gotten packed a week ago, only having to grab the essentials last night. It’d been quite awhile since he left his home for a trip overseas. His last trip needless to say had been when his parents were still alive. They often needed to travel for business and they brought Kyungsoo with them when they could.

A bitter smile works its way onto his lips and he makes his way to the stairway upon seeing that their flight is in 3 hours, he’ll need to head over to the Kim’s soon. Kyungsoo makes his way upstairs and he turns right, heading down the hallway he usually avoided. His hand lays on the doorknob for a moment too long and he opens the door at the end of the hallway. The room is cold. The white walls are tinged blue from the darkening skies outside, the faint light seeping through the drapes.

Kyungsoo enters and closes the door behind him before he passes the bed where a small altar is nestled in the corner. He kneels on the cushion seated in front of the altar and he tries his best to keep his emotions at bay when he looks at the framed photo of his parents on their wedding day. Bright smiles decorating their joyful faces as they posed comically for the camera. Kyungsoo grabs a stick of incense and he lights it with the lighter sitting by a small pot.

His eyes fall closed as the comforting scent of incense overwhelms him and he bows three times before sending his prayers to his parents. Kyungsoo places the stick inside of the pot which is filled with ashes of previously lighted incense sticks and he sits there for a moment of solace. After a few shaky exhales Kyungsoo claps his hands twice and bows once more before he stands up.

He leaves his parent’s room without looking back and he closes the door once more. Kyungsoo heads back to his own bedroom and gives his darkroom a once over just to make sure everything will be okay when he’s gone. Then he gets dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans and a crew neck finishing off with a scarf wrapped around his neck. Kyungsoo looks around to make sure he’s grabbed everything before heading downstairs, turning off the lights behind him as he goes.

Once he’s at the front door he puts on his jacket before hauling his suitcase outside. Kyungsoo locks the door and makes his way to his car, careful of the icy spots on the ground. He places his suitcase on the backseat and his camera bag sits in the passenger seat safely beside him. Kyungsoo doesn’t hesitate to pull out of his driveway before he speeds down the road towards the Kim residence.

The car is filled with complete silence. Kyungsoo even opens the window on the passenger’s side for the ride since he wants to hear and feel the wind. Even if it’s cold he feels that he can endure it for the 10 minutes he had alone. It wouldn’t be his first time seeing Jongin again, but having him so close would be tempting to say the least. Kyungsoo hates that when he has Sehun above him he imagines his nails running down tanned skin.

Kyungsoo finds himself parking his car behind Soojung’s when he returns to reality. He can see Jongin loading things into his car and he spares Kyungsoo a look before he pays attention to whatever Soojung is saying. Sehun on the other hand is exiting the house now, another suitcase standing beside him as he locks the door. Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and he glances at Jongin once more, a shy smile playing on his lips.

  


Kyungsoo doesn’t really like planes. The strong smell was nothing of comfort and although he was used to such smells coming off the chemicals used in his dark room this was different. The flight to Japan was a little over two hours, and they’d only been on the plane for about an hour or so. He and Sehun were seated by the window while Soojung and Jongin were in front of them. Sehun had mentioned how he disliked travelling on planes so the moment they took off, he put himself to sleep.

That left Kyungsoo with no distractions from his whirring thoughts. And he most definitely could not relax enough to enjoy a movie. His legs were starting to feel cramped and he wanted to walk around but that wasn’t exactly an option either. Just then, Jongin stood from his seat and he deliberately avoided Kyungsoo’s gaze as he made his way down the aisle. Kyungsoo waited a few seconds before he took a sip of water and followed.

Just as Jongin was about to close the door behind him, Kyungsoo forced his way inside. Promptly shoving the man aside in the cramped space before he locked the door behind them. He then looked up at met Jongin’s confused eyes. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but stare at Jongin’s plump lips and he leaned in, arms moving upward to wind around the man’s neck but before he could press their lips together Jongin placed his hand over his mouth.

“No kisses, our lips will be swollen,” Jongin’s voice comes out muffled behind his hand and Kyungsoo pauses. Jongin looks deep into Kyungsoo’s eyes and a sigh of relief seems to rip from his throat, as if he was glad Kyungsoo was here with him. Jongin gently reaches upward and he presses the pad of his thumb on Kyungsoo’s bottom lip, prodding his mouth open. He then sticks out his tongue and he leans in hoping that Kyungsoo would get the hint.

Thankfully he does and their tongues meet, their bodies both shaking at the odd contact. Kyungsoo closes his eyes and he tangles his fingers in Jongin’s hair as he hungrily sucks on the man’s tongue. Jongin tastes faintly of tobacco and champagne, he hadn’t noticed when the man ordered alcohol. Jongin returns the gesture with just as much fervour, tasting Kyungsoo as if he’s been starved of him.

Kyungsoo is the first to pull away, eyes lidded as their tongues are only connected by a thin strand of saliva. Jongin playfully licks Kyungsoo’s bottom lip to break the strand and he flashes the teen a charming smile afterwards. The sight makes Kyungsoo’s heart feel things and he drops to his knees, wanting to forget about it. His hands work with haste, knowing that it’d be suspicious if they were gone for too long.

Jongin already seems to be half hard in his sweats and Kyungsoo unties the strings before slipping down the man’s pants as well as his briefs, he lets the bands rest on Jongin’s thighs before he takes hold of the appendage. Kyungsoo looks up at Jongin’s lust filled eyes before he wraps his lips around the head, teasing the slit with his tongue extra careful just to watch Jongin fall apart above him.

“Fuck Kyungsoo,” his groans are hard to hear over how loud the airplane washroom is but knows he’s doing something right when Jongin grips his head. Kyungsoo relaxes his throat and he lets Jongin do as he pleases. The older man seems upset almost, his thrusts are erratic and there was definitely nothing gentle about it. Kyungsoo kept his hands on Jongin’s thighs, gripping harshly as he sputtered and choked on his cock.

Kyungsoo could feel something through the way Jongin held him, but he chose to ignore it. Keeping his eyes closed as Jongin’s length pulsed on his tongue, however Jongin didn’t seem too pleased with that and his grip went soft, his hips coming to a stand still. Kyungsoo feels a hand against his cheek and he opens his eyes, meeting Jongin’s blissed face as he spurts his load down Kyungsoo’s throat.

He does his best to swallow and makes sure to lap at the head before tucking the man back into his pants, even redoing the strings for him. Jongin slumps against the wall and Kyungsoo doesn’t bother drawing any attention to his own growing arousal. Jongin takes hold of Kyungsoo’s wrist and pulls him in close, wrapping his arm around his waist as he nibbles at Kyungsoo’s ear lobe.

“I want to make you cum on my cock when we’re in the hot springs,” Jongin growls and Kyungsoo holds in his want to moan. He licks his lips and places a kiss on the corner of Jongin’s mouth, winking as he pulls away. Before he can go however Jongin hugs him. Kyungsoo freezes completely, feeling the older man’s body against his own. He hates how he wants to lean into his embrace, listen to sweet nothings that will promise him that everything will be okay.

“I missed you,” Jongin whispers and Kyungsoo says nothing. He holds his words against his tongue and he escapes the confines of the washroom.  


 

Jongin settles his and Soojung’s things down in their hotel room and he breathes in the fresh scent around him. The room was a standard tatami bedroom and there was a slide door opposite the entrance that lead to a small walkway connected to the other rooms. It was a very homey type of establishment and Jongin enjoyed returning to this place every time they visited Japan. Normally Sehun would be on his own but at least this time he had Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo… Jongin swallows his feelings and forces a smile when he feels Soojung hug him from behind.

“Want to dip into the mixed hot springs with me?” Soojung lowers her voice and she presses a kiss along his shoulder. Jongin turns around and he kisses her forehead before intertwining their fingers. There’s not a single spark. The feeling of skin to skin wasn’t exciting in the slightest. And it truly was a shame because Soojung looked beautiful. It was almost 8PM and Jongin couldn’t deny how tired he was.

“Not today Soojung, we’re both tired from the trip,” Jongin kisses her hand and he hopes that his random displays of affection aren't suspicious. Soojung can’t hold her sigh and she pulls her hands away, Jongin can tell she was holding back from being angry. Things are silent between them as they both remove their clothes, dressing themselves in the kimonos the hotel provided for them.

“I’m going to wander for a bit,” Soojung says simply and she leaves the room, closing the door gently behind her. Jongin exhales shakily and he removes his shoes and damned socks, slipping his feet into the slippers provided. He’s definitely going to take this moment alone to freshen up. Jongin drags himself from the room, closing the door behind him before he follows the signs towards the open hot springs.

Jongin doesn’t bother moving the dangling flags from the doorway and he just walks through them, removing his clothes in front of a small cubby before he wraps the clean towel inside around his waist. He puts his slippers inside and pads outside, the cool air hitting him in an instant. It doesn’t remain cold however, not with the steam coming off of the hot springs. Jongin turns right and he sits down on the stool in front of one of the four shower heads and he proceeds to clean himself.

His body is aching by the time he’s done and he wants nothing more than to soak his weary bones. Jongin carefully makes his way down the wooden steps descending into the hot springs and he takes it slowly, letting his body get used to the higher temperature before he sits down on the smooth rocks. Jongin let’s out a quiet moan since he’s all alone and he leans his head back, wishing that he’d brought a smaller towel to rest on his forehead.

As Jongin begins to relax he hears footsteps behind him. He doesn’t turn his head since he’d rather not make awkward eye contact but he doesn’t need to because two arms wrap themselves loosely around his neck, resting on his shoulders. Jongin doesn’t open his eyes and he takes hold of one of the hands, pressing kisses along the fingertips and the palm, before he lightly kisses the knuckles.

“Where’s Sehun?” Jongin asks and he feels a hot breath against his skin, plush lips dance along his shoulder before leading up the side of his neck. Playfully nibbling on his ear lobe as if getting revenge.

“He went off with Soojung,” a deep voice replies and the arms leave him in an instant. Jongin can feel the ripples of the disturbed water against his chest and he feels thick thighs straddling him. His eyes flutter open and soft hands hold his cheeks, Jongin blinks to adjust his vision and his eyes widen when he sees what looks like tears lining doe eyes.

“I want you to fulfill that promise you made on the plane, _daddy_.”  

  


Touch - Troye Sivan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew well that was that
> 
> The next few chapters will be centred around their trip in Japan :D where y'all will be learning more bout the characters, Jongin and Kyungsoo mainly


	15. Eyes Closed

Kyungsoo can feel number of things in his chest as he looks into Jongin’s eyes, guilt, lust, desire, _love_ … the last feeling scared him. Because was it only Jongin who was looking with love? Or was he as well? He doesn’t feel right. His mind is a mess and his heart is erratic, he wants Jongin to take it all away. Kyungsoo is selfish, he knows this, how much more can he take before he realizes that he’s actually empty?

“Please daddy, I need you,” Kyungsoo whispers and his eyes widen when he realizes that it sounded too honest. He composes himself and takes deep breaths, reminding himself that he isn’t allowed to show his true feelings. Not with himself, not with Sehun, most definitely not with Jongin. If Jongin notices the desperation in his voice he doesn’t mention it and for that Kyungsoo is grateful. Kyungsoo leans in unconsciously and Jongin stops him,

“Right, no kissing,” Kyungsoo mumbles to himself and instead he settles for burying his face in the crook of Jongin’s neck. Kyungsoo closes his eyes as he focuses on the sounds around him, the subtle sound of moving water and the smells of nature and of Jongin. Rough hands gently move across his skin and Kyungsoo unconsciously tenses when Jongin removes the towel from his lower half, leaving him bare on top of the man.

Soft lips map out the beauty marks littered across his skin and they’re much more plush than Sehun’s are. While Sehun was patient, Jongin was impatient, a starved man. However, they don’t have time. This moment is not meant to be theirs yet here they are, breaking the rules, going against the norms to indulge themselves in their own sin. Kyungsoo can’t afford to wait, he doesn’t know why and he doesn’t know what he wants but he can’t risk losing it all here.

“Hurry please, I’m already prepped,” Kyungsoo kisses along the smooth skin of Jongin’s back, puberty already past him as his skin is in its prime. He’d taken the time to deliberately prepare himself since this wasn’t meant to be slow, it wasn’t meant to be full of love. No. They were two people who were meant to be faithful to others, they didn’t deserve to feel anything truly intimate through their carnal desire. No matter how much he wanted it. No, he didn’t want it. What was he thinking?

“Is something wrong Kyungsoo?” Jongin asks quietly and above the silence of nature Kyungsoo hears his heartbeat pounding in his chest. He freezes as if cold water had been dumped over him. Kyungsoo tenses and his fingers shake so his grip on Jongin tightens. _Deep breaths Kyungsoo, deep breaths_. Kyungsoo leans back and he tilts his head to the side, a small smirk playing on his lips as if he was amused.

“What’s wrong is that you’re not inside of me yet daddy, don’t you want me?” Kyungsoo asks and he hates himself today, why was he showing so much emotion? Suddenly he felt the whole trip to Japan hadn’t been such a good idea after all. But at least he got some nice pictures of Jongin in the hot springs. Jongin looks at him and Kyungsoo ducks his head back into Jongin’s shoulder, quite liking it there.

“We’re running out of time, do you want this?” Kyungsoo knows that the mood is something else entirely and he doesn’t want to force Jongin into anything. His thinking is off and he can’t read the man as well as he usually can. If Jongin rejects him here though, he has no idea how he’ll ever recover. Thankfully Jongin carefully spreads his thighs before gripping his cheeks tightly, prying them apart.

Kyungsoo mewls, feeling the heated water hitting his entrance which is now clenching relentlessly, wanting something inside. Jongin leans in and he nips at Kyungsoo’s earlobe as he pushes himself, gritting his teeth at the tight heat that rivals the spring water surrounding them. They both groan and Kyungsoo’s body twitches as he does his best to relax, he can feel himself moulding to take in Jongin’s erection and he lets out a sigh of relief, he’s missed this.

Once he sinks down Kyungsoo closes his eyes and he feels himself getting lost in the feeling. Everything was so _hot_. The spring water, the steam, Jongin, Jongin inside of him, everything was so much. Kyungsoo wraps his arms around Jongin’s shoulders and he begins to bounce, starting off careful since the water splashes obscenely around them. Jongin feels different than Sehun does.

Sehun liked to hold Kyungsoo’s sides, playing with his plush tummy while Jongin held onto his hips, forcing him down on his thrusts. Sehun liked to go fast while Jongin liked to go hard and deep. Time with Sehun was usually sentimental, it felt romantic almost even though Kyungsoo didn’t let Sehun explore his body. Time with Jongin was eccentric, the fire inside of him felt alive when he was with Jongin.

As Kyungsoo is lost in his thoughts he doesn’t notice that Jongin pulls away, a hand cups his cheek and he’s brought into a deep kiss that opens his eyes. Jongin’s cock strikes his prostate and he whimpers, his thighs shaking at the stimulation. Their lips part and Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to say, Jongin lightly thumbs beneath his eyes, as if wanting to wipe away imaginary tears. The man’s gaze is intense and Kyungsoo knows he can’t look away.

“Please look at _me_ , don’t think about anyone else,” Jongin’s voice is small but he doesn’t still his hips, marking Kyungsoo deeper and deeper each time. Kyungsoo does as he’s told, he has Jongin in the palm of his hand like he had wanted, but what was this feeling? Was it guilt towards Sehun? Towards Soojung? He wasn’t so sure anymore. Kyungsoo smirks and he holds himself back from stealing those delicious lips.

“You want to be my only one? I’ll be sharing a bed with your son tonight, while you sleep in yours with your wife, Jongin,” the grip on his hips tighten and he can’t help the moans that spill from his lips as his prostate is abused with precision, the accuracy never faltering as pleasure makes his blood sing. Jongin frowns ever so slightly but his expression soon mirrors Kyungsoo’s, Kyungsoo finds that he doesn’t like it one bit. Not at all.

“It’s all a game isn’t it?” Jongin wraps his hand around Kyungsoo’s neglected erection and he strokes him hard, Kyungsoo’s eyes widen and his brows furrowed as he reaches his peak, his body twitching as Jongin fucks him through it all. Kyungsoo slumps against Jongin as he’s pulled off of his cock, Jongin cums into the water and he groans against Kyungsoo’s neck as he does, licking at the salty skin.

Kyungsoo breathes heavily as he comes down from his high and he can register Jongin using a towel to wipe the semen from his chest, letting it melt away in the water as if it’d never been there to begin with. Kyungsoo unconsciously looks over Jongin’s face, something he hadn’t seen for weeks now. It felt strange being in front of the man again. Jongin’s skin was still virtually perfect however his golden glow was dull.

There were dark bags underneath his eyes and a shadow could be seen above his upper lip while stubble dotted his chin. He looked like a mess. And Kyungsoo would never know why. It wasn’t his place to. After all, like Jongin had said and like he had thought multiple times before, this was all a game. Kyungsoo needs a nap, he needs to take a walk or something. It’d been some time since he had been with Jongin and Sehun was waiting for him.

“I missed you too,” Kyungsoo admits and he escapes before he can face the weight of his words.  
  


Kyungsoo takes his time heading back to his and Sehun’s room. Mainly because well he wasn’t exactly familiar with the hotel. Although it wasn’t really a hotel, more like a traditional with its one floor layout, wooden floorboards and low ceilings. Kyungsoo isn’t used to the slippers on his feet nor is he familiar with the hotel’s complimentary yukata that they recommend the patrons wear after a dip in their hot springs. Kyungsoo quickly takes a picture of the long and empty hallway before he slides open the door to his shared room.

Once he enters he can hear the sound of Sehun speaking, almost hushed. Kyungsoo closes the door behind him and he ventures further into the room, placing his clothes in one of the bags he’d brought along, dropping it by his suitcase. By the window he can see Sehun’s silhouette, standing tall and he looks over his shoulder at Kyungsoo before he quickly says his goodbyes and hangs up the phone.

“Hey, who were you talking to? Also what’s the Wi-Fi password?” Kyungsoo asks casually as he goes to flop down on the bed but then he remembers that it’s a futon and would not have the same protection as a mattress would so instead he gingerly lies down on it. Adjusting himself naturally so that his sore back was comfortable. Sehun places his phone on the small nightside table and he sits down beside Kyungsoo, reaching out to intertwine their fingers.

“One of the guys from the dance team, and it’s on this little greeting card I found,” Sehun says nonchalantly as he points to said card which is beside his phone. Kyungsoo hums and he doesn’t ask who, that’s Sehun’s business. He gingerly pulls away from Sehun’s touch and he curls in on himself, yawning as he stretches like a cat. Kyungsoo closes his eyes and he relaxes but doesn’t completely succumb to his sleepiness, mainly because he wasn’t lying on the futon properly and there wouldn’t be any proper room for Sehun later if he fell asleep now.

“How were the hot springs?” Sehun gets off of the futon and he stands, admiring the view from the window/slide door that lead out to a walkway as well as a small botanical garden. Kyungsoo opens his eyes and he looks up at his boyfriend with a blank mind. Sehun looks out the window thoughtfully even though it was dark outside. He then looks back at Kyungsoo and a tight smile spreads on his lips.

“Care to go for a stroll with me?” Sehun holds out his hand and Kyungsoo sees no reason to refuse so he takes it, his ass aching when he gets pulled off of the futon. Kyungsoo follows along as Sehun unlocks the window and slides it open, the curtains immediately catching the breeze as he does. Considering it was the dead of winter they probably should have slipped on some kind of outerwear but the steam coming from the surrounding hot springs helped keep the air relatively warm.

During the night there wasn’t much to see and although Kyungsoo was looking at anything and everything he didn’t see anything he’d want to photograph. He’d actually left his camera back in the room, having dropped it on his suitcase along with his worn clothes. His favourite model wasn’t around and Kyungsoo was in an odd mood. Sehun leads him down the gravel pathways and Kyungsoo pouts when some of the small stones get onto his slippers. He’d have to ask for another pair to wear indoors afterwards.

“I really love Japan, there’s something about this country that feels so special. I’m looking forward to this trip,” Sehun’s usual stoic expression is overtaken by warm eyes that held a hint of sadness to them. Kyungsoo wonders if it was because of him. Sehun was no fool but neither was Kyungsoo, he would know if Sehun knew. He leans up on his toes and he wraps his arms around Sehun, closing his eyes as he buries his face into the crook of his neck

“Me too,”

 

The next morning comes with confusion and disoriented thoughts. Kyungsoo was naturally an early riser so he had waited for the others to wake while he played around on his phone, sending emails to his employers at the gallery. They’d be displaying some of his pieces this month and he wouldn’t be there to see them so he needed to confirm a lot of things. It would be the photo he’d taken when he drove past the Kim’s the other day.

Breakfast had been served to all four of them, the teens had gone over to the adult’s bedroom where breakfast was set and they all ate as harmoniously as they could. Some small talk had been had but they’d all resorted to silence when the travel from yesterday caught up to them. After breakfast Soojung had suggested they all take a walk around the town which was mainly a tourist area and had lots of walkways including ones that lead to waterfalls and such.

What Kyungsoo hadn’t been expecting however, was to get separated from the others only to be found by a fuming Soojung. It’d been an innocent accident really, not really one at all if you asked Kyungsoo. He and Sehun had been walking behind Jongin and Soojung when a large tree caught his eye. Naturally he went off to photograph it and maybe even admire it for a bit, having absolutely no qualms with being separated since he could find his way back easily.

“Kyungsoo, when we walk around as a group we stay a group do you understand me? It’s a foreign country and you haven’t been here before, you have to learn to be more careful,” Soojung speaks with her hands on her hips and a stern expression on her pretty face. Kyungsoo doesn’t see the big problem with his actions since he was known to wander. It was just something he did.

“I’m sorry,” he says simply and he keeps his head down, feeling slightly apologetic for the fact that he made her upset and for the fact that she’d been the one to find him. Why couldn’t it have been Sehun or Jongin? They walk together for a bit before they settle down on a bench, thinking that sitting around and waiting would be a better option rather than possibly getting lost. Kyungsoo sighs and he looks down at his phone that’s practically useless at the moment.

It was weird being alone with Soojung. At first she’d done her best to be as fake and nice as she possibly could be, but now that had changed. She simply resorted to acting like Kyungsoo was a pest that she clearly did not approve of, but she also cared for him to some degree, because he was Sehun’s boyfriend or because he was an orphan he really wasn’t sure. Kyungsoo wasn’t all too interested in Soojung, she seemed 2D to him, she wasn’t someone he desired to know.

“Why do you travel to Japan every year? Why not somewhere else?” Kyungsoo tilts his body so that he’s facing Soojung who looks surprised that he even initiated a conversation with her. Her painted nails tap on her phone and she pursed her glossed lips before she meets his gaze. Kyungsoo can’t help but feel stunned by her beauty, she had a natural kind of elegance to her. She was definitely well suited for Jongin. _If only she understood him better_ , he thinks.

“Jongin and I grew up travelling to Japan because of our parents’ line of work. They travelled to other countries as well but Japan most often since securing partners here was great for business. I spent a lot of time with Jongin and our other friend Taemin here in Japan so it’s special to us. We had our honeymoon here,” Soojung explains quietly and she leaves out the details of their family business’ because she wasn’t sure if Kyungsoo knew about all that.

“That sounds nice, travelling with your parents and meeting your friends,” Kyungsoo smiles and he looks down at the ground. He wants to say more but truthfully he can’t. There are a number of things regarding his childhood he’d never say out loud. As a child he too travelled with his parents a lot, however he wasn’t a very social child and his main company had been his older brother as well as his parents who knew how to juggle business and family.

“I envy you Kyungsoo,” the words get lost in the wind and Kyungsoo swears he mishears her. However when he meets her gaze he sees sadness in those bright brown eyes. Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to do, it’s too late to act like he hadn’t heard anything. However Kyungsoo doesn’t have to think about it anymore because Jongin and Sehun have already found them.

 

Eyes Closed - Halsey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh hi guys, how are y'all  
> I don't know what this chapter is? Am I losing this story, uhh maybe LOL it just changed so much from the initial idea and I'm kinda trying to fix it all while still moving forward in the plot which is very very slow LOL  
> But honestly, this story still gets a lot of views and I'm very thankful? Thank you for liking this so much? The initial plot is eye catching so I can get why but thank you to those who stayed  
> One day there will be a full smut scene between these two I swear LOL right now just isn't the time  
> Thank you thank you <3 and please comment what y'all thought of this chapter and Kyungsoo's weird mood throughout this all is a result of my own weird mood tbh LOL  
> \- Airi


	16. Tell Me What To Do

After they’d regrouped with one another they decided to head back towards the hotel. There hadn’t been much to see because although they were staying in a tourist area it was Winter and not much was on display during the cold season. Kyungsoo is delighted that although the weather was harsh, the hot steam from the hot springs surrounding the area somehow managed to make a harmonized balance of cold and warm which was a strange sensation on his skin. Kyungsoo follows the Kim’s closely this time, still remembering the scolding he’d received from Soojung earlier. Jongin and Soojung lead while Sehun hovers in the middle, Kyungsoo following behind. He eyes their linked hands with his breath held and Kyungsoo doesn’t notice how Sehun has been hesitating to hold his. 

The moment they reach the hotel Kyungsoo wants to retire to his shared bedroom with Sehun and do nothing all day. The Kim’s on the other hand aren’t too ecstatic about that mindset for they drag Kyungsoo along to the built in theatre on the other side of the hot springs. They all sit together in a homey theatre and Kyungsoo has no idea what movie is playing nor does he understand the Japanese language but thankfully there are English subtitles even if he isn’t fluent he can still attempt to follow along. During the movie Kyungsoo shares a loveseat with Sehun while Soojung and Jongin share one behind him. He’s glad that he doesn’t have to look at them because he was sure they’d be snuggled close like he and Sehun were at the moment.

Kyungsoo really wanted to be alone. 

When the movie is finished they return to Jongin and Soojung’s room where they share dinner together. It’s as extravagant as their breakfast and Kyungsoo isn’t exactly sure what was what but he’d like to look into Japanese cuisine from now on. He’d love to make some of these dishes at home. Kyungsoo fades into the background and he says nothing the entire dinner. He simply has too much on his mind and nothing to say, if he faked his personality once more he was afraid he’d break. Kyungsoo lifts his head and he warily glances at Soojung before he scoops another spoonful of soup into his mouth. Why would she envy and orphan like him? Kyungsoo couldn’t understand in the slightest and he had no idea why she even bothered sharing that with him. They were not close, they never would be. What use was it to say something that would leave him guessing without the intention of answering?

If anything Kyungsoo should be envying her. She grew up with both parents clearly without having much financial struggles, she managed to marry the man of her dreams and she had a perfect little family with a handsome and intelligent son. Then again Kyungsoo knew that was the mere surface. The Kim family wasn’t perfect in the slightest. At least… Jongin wasn’t. Jongin was a man trapped in a marriage with someone he wasn’t in love with. Sehun though… Sehun was perfect. He was a kind hearted man who spoke his mind, didn’t live in fear and followed what he believed in. Sehun lived honestly and to Kyungsoo who lived in a world full of lies, he was amazing. He was much more than Kyungsoo deserved but he’d been involved in Kyungsoo’s own sick twisted game. One that he didn’t even know why he was playing.

“Kyungsoo?” he blinks at the sound of his name and he looks up to see that everyone is looking at him. Kyungsoo doesn’t even know who to look at, he doesn’t know which one of them called his name so he opts to look at Sehun since he didn’t want to look at Soojung and Jongin’s gaze was a little too much for him to handle right now. Kyungsoo hums softly in a way that asks for the question to be repeated and Sehun smiles at him before he gently places a hand on his knee, thumb rubbing against the fabric of his yukata in a comforting manner.

“Dinner is done, you barely touched anything on your plate but… did you want to take a dip in the hot springs?” Sehun asks and Kyungsoo can recall eating half of the soup and maybe nibbling on some of the side dishes. He didn’t feel hungry at the moment but he could probably buy something later without them knowing right? Kyungsoo notes how Sehun didn’t ask him in a way that was like an invite so he doesn’t take it.

“I was hoping to maybe take some photos, I’ll stay close to the hotel,” Kyungsoo reassures and he prays that no one tries to stop or accompany him. Sehun can usually read him well enough to know when he’d like to be alone and he hopes this was one of those times. Kyungsoo could feel the weight in his chest growing heavier and he could tell that his breaths were dragging out like sighs. He was so tired. Sehun nods his head and looks over to his parents who are just sitting there, casually listening to their little conversation.

“Okay sounds good, dad and I were talking about how we wanted to get some extra practise in and mom needs to do some work,” Sehun explains and Kyungsoo tries not to appear like he’s taking in the information for the first time. He hadn’t even noticed that the dinner table had been cleared and he stands up too quickly, losing his balance due to the fact that his legs had been crossed for much too long and he stumbles. Kyungsoo gasps as he falls into someone and when he opens his eyes he sees that Jongin had been the one who caught him, his grip on Kyungsoo was firm and it made Kyungsoo’s heart run wild. He resists the urge to violently push away the other man and he quietly thanks him before he pulls away and makes his way to his room.    
  


Jongin hadn’t expected Sehun to want individual practise while they were on vacation. Sehun had been in love with the art of dance since they adopted him and when he learned his foster father was a dancer he spent all of his free time with him. Jongin had been glad to have a son who shared the same passions but he had never been forceful about it. He’d never been those parents who forced their children to constantly upkeep their hobbies to the point they might lose their love for it. Everything Sehun participated in was his own choice ever since he was a child. Jongin hadn’t forced him to join any competitions or any teams, Sehun had chosen to join dance teams but it was clear he wasn’t too interested in competing and winning any trophies.

During vacations however that was when neither of them spoke about dance. When Sehun was a child he’d noticed how his mother had some difficulties talking about his father’s dancing hobby, Jongin had told him one night that Soojung too had been like that of a dancer. She had been a figure skater but an injury caused her career to fall short. Sehun hadn’t understood it at the time but as he grew older he came to know when to keep his mouth shut about dancing around his mother. Yet here they were.

Jongin knew that there wasn’t any official space they could practise in but using Sehun’s shared room with Kyungsoo seemed good enough. Soojung was currently occupying his own room and he didn’t want to bother her while she was working. Sehun places his phone on the dresser and it plays a slow song that Jongin was familiar with but didn’t know the name of. He sits on one of the cushions and he watches his son dance freely to the music. Jongin hugs his knees close to his torso and he leans his head on his crossed arms as he watches Sehun move. It isn’t hard to tell that his son has a number of things on his mind. 

Sehun’s movements were rougher than usual, almost frustrated as he danced with a furrow between his eyebrows. Jongin could remember how the other kids had been reluctant to play with Sehun simply because he didn’t have a very friendly looking face. As he grew older it only got worse but then again Sehun had matured by then and he didn’t care too much about what other people thought. Contrary to what others would think, Sehun was an open book. Jongin could tell when his son had a lot on his mind and this was one of those moments. The music was slow and sensual yet Sehun’s dance was aggressive, almost frustrated or angry. When he pauses Jongin takes the chance to snatch Sehun’s phone and he kicks over a cushion, gesturing for his son to sit down.

“Now that you’ve blown some steam, want to talk to me?” Jongin keeps the music playing since he doesn’t want the atmosphere to get awkward but he changes the song, unconsciously looking too deeply into his son’s playlist which is a lot like his own. Sehun lies down while panting and Jongin wants to tell him that’s not a good idea until he catches his breath but Sehun knows better. Sehun closes his eyes and he sighs, covering his face with his arms as he tries to figure out exactly what he wants to say. Jongin waits.

“School… love… it’s all so difficult,” Sehun whispers and Jongin almost misses it completely. A weird feeling arises inside of his stomach and he thinks about Kyungsoo for a split second. Sehun and Kyungsoo seemed pretty happy, what about his love life was difficult? Jongin had so many things he wanted to ask but… did he want to ask for Sehun’s sake? Or for Kyungsoo’s? Jongin swallows his selfish thoughts and thinks like a father, like a father he himself never had but strived to become.

“If you’re having troubles with your relationship, you should talk to each other. That’s the only way you’ll be able to resolve things,” Jongin explains quietly and Sehun moves his arms, resting one on his abdomen while the other drops to the floor, his bracelets hitting the tatami mats in a dull thud. The way Sehun looks at him, it makes him feel small. Sometimes Jongin wonders who the father in their relationship was, his son seemed to know so much more than he did at this point. 

“Then why don’t you ever talk to mom? You two… it’s painful to watch sometimes,” Sehun says honestly. The question stabs Jongin in the chest and his eyes widen as he looks at his son. Sehun had  _ never  _ been so open about his thoughts regarding his parents’ marriage before. That was something he never talked about, something they never talked about with him. They’d done their best to give him a loving home but in actuality, it had felt like two people forced to raise him together. Jongin doesn’t know how to react. He knew that Sehun would ask about it someday but he was hoping that it’d been when he was a child and didn’t know much better. But as a near adult, asking this kind of question meant that he was looking for an honest answer.

“Your mother and I… I wonder if our relationship has become one of obligation. She’s always been there for me and I just-” Jongin cuts himself off. Sehun knows that he wasn’t nearly as invested in his marriage as Soojung was. Jongin doesn’t even know why he called it an obligation when he was blatantly destroying the trust and the loyalty that was barely there in the first place. He couldn’t say he was devoted to his wife nor could he say he was in love with her. What could he offer her at this point? His half hearted company? His body without his heart? How lonely that must feel. 

“You should never stay with someone if you don’t love them,” Sehun says and Jongin knows this. He and Soojung are both aware of this. But in their case, one person was in love and that was enough. It was never about Jongin. This whole marriage of theirs. It was all solely for his parents and for Soojung. Jongin clenches his jaw as his thoughts wander towards Kyungsoo and for a split second he feels completely hopeless. What was he even doing? What was he hoping to achieve from this game he was playing? All he was doing was aiding in Kyungsoo’s affair and falling deeper into his own. They were both using each other essentially but how deep did it all go? At what point can they just stop? Will they ever stop? It isn’t like Jongin can just get divorced with Soojung and marry Kyungsoo or anything like that. Kyungsoo made him feel alive and that was dangerous. So dangerous.

“It seems you and I are both alike aren’t we dad,” Sehun mutters under his breath but Jongin doesn’t hear him.    
  


Kyungsoo buries his face deeper into Sehun’s scarf he’d borrowed as he stands alone on a small bridge that lead towards the hike that lead to the waterfall. Truthfully he’d wanted to get pictures of the waterfall itself but the sky was growing darker and the last thing he wanted was to be focused on his camera while struggling on a rocky path. That was just asking for a twisted ankle and a broken ankle. Instead Kyungsoo decided to stand on the bridge and watch the stream of water that flowed below. He could see the iridescent scales of the koi fish swimming and he’s mesmerized by all of the colours. Kyungsoo wants to get closer to take pictures but he didn’t want to accidentally fall in. 

He always loved taking pictures of water. It felt so calming for some reason and even though the photos made the water freeze in time he could always imagine the sounds he’d heard when he’d taken them. Unfortunately for him there weren’t many bodies of water close by in the middle of Seoul. Kyungsoo didn’t have the time to drive towards the beach either. Maybe in the future but as of right now he could only stay put. Maybe he’d ask Sehun about the waterfall tomorrow, maybe he’d want to come with him. Kyungsoo would feel to regretful if he went back to South Korea without any photos of it. He walks off of the bridge and stays near the sides of the road. 

He opts for taking pictures of streetlamps, attempting to capture the way the light reflected off of the nearby tree leaves. Having this time to himself, even if he wasn’t in the comfort of his bedroom back in Seoul was wonderful. Kyungsoo could feel his stress lifting from his body and he smiled to himself, letting his mind go blank. No Jongin. No Sehun. No Soojung. Just him and his camera. For a moment Kyungsoo lowers his camera and he turns around, watching the way the streets move as time passes by.

It was a nice reminder that his own problems weren’t too bad. The sound of people talking a language he didn’t speak, watching foreigners tour the area and smile at one another when they see something in the stands they find beautiful. It was all something Kyungsoo wanted to cherish, something he wanted to capture. So he does. He lifts his camera and makes sure that the lanterns and streetlights blur the people’s faces, leaving them as simple coloured silhouettes in his photo. Kyungsoo snaps a photo and he checks it a moment later, he’d opted on bringing his digital camera since he was wary about keeping the film protected until he made it back to South Korea. This photo was a keeper, it wasn’t the same quality like those caught on film but it was good enough. He’d have to look at it numerous times before deciding on whether or not he’d submit it to the gallery.

Kyungsoo sneezes and his nose runs a bit so he decides to head back to the hotel. It was late anyways, he could go for a small dip in the hot springs before heading to the bed for the night and he wouldn’t have to really interact with anybody aside from maybe Sehun. Kyungsoo tucks his camera into his satchel safely and he begins walking back up the street where the entrance of the hotel was. As Kyungsoo is walking up the small pathway he can see someone standing by the trees. He doesn’t care much and goes to pass right by them but when the person turns he sees that it’s Soojung and his initial response is to pause and hope that he wasn’t seen. Soojung looks in his direction for a second before she looks away, resting a hand on her stomach. Kyungsoo can see that she’s on her phone and he wants to turn around so that he doesn’t end up eavesdropping but she speaks too soon.

“I feel fine for now. I think we’ll have to try again… yeah, I’ll be sure to ask you when the time comes… okay okay-” Kyungsoo walks forward and Soojung sees him properly this time. Kyungsoo gives her a polite nod and continues on like he hadn’t heard a thing. He keeps his expression stoic and he stuffs his hands into his jacket pockets to keep them from shaking. Kyungsoo holds his breath as he enters the hotel and the heating system makes him feel even worse than he already does. He storms pass the lobby and he doesn’t even notice Sehun and Jongin watching him in alarm. Kyungsoo picks up the pace and he reaches his shared room, relieved to see that it was empty, he drops to the floor and takes a deep breath.

Were Jongin and Soojung trying for a child?

 

Tell Me What To Do - SHINee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone how are you :')  
> Technically I'm supposed to be studying for my midterms but I had the weirdest urge to write this so I did  
> This story is approaching 2 years now and my writing style has changed so much since I started it  
> Anyways, thank you for still reading y'all <3 altho I'm definitely gonna lose subs with this update whoop whoop LOL  
> The only story I'm actually actively writing atm is BITE my Twilight au, other than that I'm kinda just writing fests  
> I have no intentions of leaving any of my stories unfinished, they'll just take me some time  
> \- Airi 


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